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    dots Submission Name: Table For Onedots

    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 192
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 562
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1223

       I was sitting in Hardees this morning. Too many memories...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTable For Onedots

    She sat in a cold, impersonal restaurant,
    But there was nothing impersonal about this place.
    There are so many memories here,
    The first time she ever saw his face.
    This is where they met.
    They kissed in this parking lot.
    She asked him to dance in this lobby.
    He held her in this very spot.
    There were stolen moments in the cooler,
    Caresses in that chair.
    Right there at that table,
    He sat and played with her hair.
    They laughed together in that office,
    Teased each other on front line.
    They had their first fight in front of that sink,
    And she cried for the very first time.
    They used to hide behind the dumpster.
    She watched him skateboard over there.
    They danced together under the stars,
    Neither of them had a care.
    Now she sits alone in this room,
    Where he would comfort her when she cried,
    And she watches someone come out of the bathroom,
    Another place they used to hide.
    She sits in this cold, impersonal restaurant,
    And their song plays from above.
    A single tear falls as she relives that dance.
    They were so in love.

    Submitted on 2005-08-12 17:08:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Yah, this poem gets to me too. The whole thing reminds me of my town. It's reaaaaally small so me and my boyfriend have a memory around every corner. I don't know how i'll live with that IF and when we seperate. Either way, it's cute and kinda gives hope that when love ends there are always amazing memories to look back on, even if they make you shed a tear or two. As they say "It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all". * Insert flashback of a That 70's Show episode here * haha.. Oh boy.. I'm too cool for this place.. And to sarcastic..

    End transmission
    | Posted on 2005-08-27 00:00:00 | by Mrs Peabody | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece got to me. Not much emotions mentioned, yet the things happening throughout the relationship were enough to bring out the feelings involved. Sad, but also nice.
    | Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by whchong | [ Reply to This ]
      It wasn't in first person...and I actually liked it... what a concept! I love how it all seemed like a memory to the reader but it wasn't. Very good. It didn't really pull at my heart though. Yeah, it was sad, but it seemed like they made use of the time they had. Keep it up.
    | Posted on 2005-08-12 00:00:00 | by HECATE_Sservant | [ Reply to This ]

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