Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

The Predator Within


Author: mcgovern_xiii
ASL Info:    35/M/NewEngland
Elite Ratio:    4.13 - 70 /91 /26
Words: 167
Class/Type: Lyrics /Dark
Total Views: 968
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1136



Description:


These are some lyrics to some music a friend is writing, it is hardcore metal on the darker side although I do like some hardcore metal I am not really a dark person and I have never written lyrics before, so my first attempt I thought I would run past you all some lines are from a poem of mine “certitude” the closest I have come to the darker side or so I think…..any way tell me what you think


The Predator Within





Controlling ---------my thoughts
Confined in --------Attitude

At the center of all that I am
All must be consumed

My appetite ------- Boundless
My hunger ---------Endless

Feeds upon my emotions,
It feeds upon my sins.
Pulled further away
From the light within
Lust ----------Desire
The darkness wins.

Complacent greed -------My cowardice revealed
Flattered ego ------- I relinquish resistance
Intolerance and cruelty, guaranties existence.
Blissful confusion, ----------wishful delusion.
my slavery grows with each passing illusion.

At the center of all that I am
All must be mine

My Ego -------------boundless
My conciet ---------Endless

And it
Feeds upon my hate
It feeds upon my sins
Empty of all but
The predator within
Lust --------Desire
The darkness wins

The darkness wins

Terence McGovern “05




Submitted on 2005-08-12 23:06:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  wow feel like my spiritual turmoil there. pulling especially lust and desire yeah I can see that in me. everytime I seem to get out of the pit something puts me back in. I even had a little something today that almost blew an atom bomb in my head but has since cooled then again maybe not. cool write, I feel the darkness in it. can't give the overall asessment desired cause i dont know lyrical formats but i like the words.

~mike
| Posted on 2005-09-17 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
  I think it would work well with heavy metal, I made a little soundtrack in my mind while I read it, the pauses, the cadence, everything seemed to fit really well. "Intolerance and cruelty, gaurantees existence" That's dark and intelligent, you couldn't ask for much more in heavy metal lyrics. I think you accomplished your mission. Have fun putting it all together.
-Matt
| Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by mr. | [ Reply to This ]
  I dont care for it at all. I myself am a Melodic Death Metal vocalist. As a fellow lyrical writer let me tell you what I feel here.
First and formost, It is far too short.
People like songs to be very descriptive, unless your an MTV kid or radio rocker. Then this is fine.
I do infact like your choice of words, very descriptive and they get the [censored] point across ha ha.
Well I would check it out, so yeah

Later


CYnyster Cyanide----
| Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by Black-Wall | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



70365