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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Saltydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 724
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 756



    Description:
       I was crying yesterday, in his truck, and a tear ran down my face. I stuck my tongue out and caught it as it went by. It was salty. He looked at me and I almost asked him why this was so. But I didn't, so I ask him here.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSaltydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Why are my tears so salty?
    Why do they burn my face?
    Why do you watch them fall so intently,
    As if dying for a taste?

    Why do my lips feel bruised?
    Why is that pain such bliss?
    Why do I melt so completely,
    After a single kiss?

    Why do you make my skin burn?
    Where did we get this heat?
    How can you always set my body on fire,
    From my head down to my feet?

    Why does this feel so good?
    Why am I mesmerized?
    Why is it you caress my face,
    And force me to meet your eyes?

    Why are my tears so salty?
    Why are your eyes so blue?
    How can I be expected to untie myself,
    When I'm wrapped up in you?




    Submitted on 2005-08-13 11:00:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      awww did something happen with you guys?? i hope everything is ok. this was a nice way to get your emotions out cuz i could feel them. i like how u wrote your lines too. esp the first two stanzas...

    "Why are my tears so salty?
    Why do they burn my face?
    Why do you watch them fall so intently,
    As if dying for a taste?

    Why do my lips feel bruised?
    Why is that pain such bliss?
    Why do I melt so completely,
    After a single kiss?"

    i thought that was the best part. ive noticed people write very well too when they are upset or really happy or basically when they have a lot of emotion at the time and im assuming this is what you were feeling a lot at the time you wrote this. nice job. i hope u feel better with what ever it is that is bothering you.

    brenna
    | Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the way you asked a group of questions and the flow of it all. I like the way you mention how he effect you and how still you were crying for and over this man as he kissed you. Very powerful writing.
    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      its funny i new before i read this it was about tears maybe as you commented on fatal tears i dont no
    this was good but personal and thanx again for your kind words
    sandman
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]


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