[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: It All Falls Apartdots

    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 149
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 644
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 941

       My rent was late, my utilities due, my car broke down, my mom is injured, my grandmother sick...everything fell apart. Things like this hurt less when there's someone beside you to help.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIt All Falls Apartdots

    It all falls apart when you're gone.
    I'm never sure of what to do.
    It seems my whole world was built around
    The concept of loving you.

    It all falls apart when you're gone.
    It feels like my life is a sham.
    I don't know how to live anymore.
    I'm not sure of who I am.

    It all falls apart when you're gone,
    The house, the car, my mind.
    Everything that was in perfect harmony dissolves.
    I'm left with nothing but a difficult time.

    It all falls apart when you're gone,
    And no one else knows how to fix it.
    The hours that pass are so full of desperation,
    That i suppose I might as well just quit.

    It all falls apart when you're gone.
    Now you're gone forever.
    As hard as I try, I find that I just can't
    Put my heart back together.

    Submitted on 2005-08-13 11:07:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      David Fletcher fixes everything...he fixes printers and can help me burn cd's and he is just a helpful lil fella. But sorry for you.Bye.
    | Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      I can see how you realize that things would be easier to cope with if you were not alone and heartbroken by this man. I love the way you said things were bad, but they are worst without him around. It sounds like you are having that kind of month. I only hope and pray things look up for you. Great writing.
    | Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      man that just hit home so hard. the girl i loved more than anything in the world had to leave to live in another state and we didnt want to break up but we had to. i didnt have the money or resources to just drop everything and move and she HAD to go. since she left things seem to progressively get worse everyday. when she was here she would say "dont worry it'll be ok" and i knew it would be. hearing it over the phone is nothing compared to having it whispered in your ear y know? so all i can say is i loved the poem for the simple fact that it hit home. but everything in the poem seems so valid and full of heart which IS what makes it great. thanx for writing this.
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by Butterfly Bullets | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stretto written by saartha
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    ME written by jjd
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    This written by Chelebel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]