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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Jailed Edendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BenCollier
    Elite Ratio:    3.72 - 425/386/88
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 655
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 653



    Description:
       Thoughts about my wife's previous marriage and what I hope I have released her from.

    For Felicia


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJailed Edendots
    -------------------------------------------


    A life held captive
    Stagnation forced, unchecked
    Beauty left stranded
    Her world is wracked

    A man's pathetic attempt
    To dam natural growth
    Evident evolution
    Of God's betroth

    She accepted her place
    As wife, as slave?
    Muddled dismissal
    Tether her life, his enclave

    Love anew spurs awakening
    Self aware, an emergence
    A chrysalis blooms
    Nurture and devotion. a confluence

    For now till I sleep
    All eternity above
    Never shall you fester
    And always shall I love






    Submitted on 2005-08-13 13:21:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this poem spoke to me in so many ways. i always thought of marriage as being caged when i was with my husband. i felt like my wings had been clipped. i realized after we divorced that i had always been free, he was just not allowing me to spead my wings. beautifully written
    | Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by stormyskye | [ Reply to This ]
      I understand your poem is such a different way...I'm a child of divorce! Both of my parents were trapped with eachother...Its always better to see them happy with better people like you!
    | Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by deathbelow | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem though not something I can relate to spoke to me. I find that although I can't relate your feelings become mine. I hope to read more of these such beuatifully written poems.
    -Sageeriol
    | Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by sageeriol | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this was so sweet to write this for your wife. It was heartfelt and it was romantic. I liked to way you described her life with her ex and how you would be different. This poem had a nice flow and it was well written.
    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      You go boy! Her knight in shining armor (or amour!)
    I was married for 10 years to a person that couldn't even understand nor appreciate me and I've not found Mr. Right but I'm way alright with me!
    I'm sure she appreciates you sooo much!
    This was beautiful!
    Love,Peace,Joy! tif ; )
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Dave, very neat!

    You've covered all the main points of your theme well, and it reads nice and easily with a good flow.

    I have a couple of small ideas, but they're only tiny, so I won't bother, it's a arather nice write as it is.

    I see you've been posting while I sleep. Must catch up!

    This is good.

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very beautiful poem. I think it's very well written. Wonderful words that held me throughout the entire read. I can't say what part I like the best, it's all goood. Lots of luck,
    bgj
    | Posted on 2005-08-22 00:00:00 | by bgj | [ Reply to This ]


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