Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

“She loves me She loves me not


Author: No Talent
ASL Info:    24/m/Ny
Elite Ratio:    4.12 - 263 /178 /31
Words: 199
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1049
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1317



Description:


Just venting alot of issues n problems here lemme kno what u think or how it made you feel or whateva u want i'm not picky aight


“She loves me She loves me not



When I smiled, you cried..
Then I frowned
While your frown turned upside down..
So I whispered Sweet things to you
You simply replied with a yell Cursing straight to me to hell
Nothing left to do
Nothing will ever please you..
Hoping, Just Hoping..
You Knew..
That I loved You
That my world revolved around you
That a word from your lips gave me shivers
And still..
Can’t let you take advantage
I cant.. I can’t believe a word you say…
I can’t leave
Because this pain I feel is real
This pain will destroy me
Though rain will still poor upon me
And still I can’t describe this feeling
This confusion, This Rain, This Pain
Driving me off a cliff
My final plea
Is this what they call love?
Or have simply you Deceived me…
And still.. You confuse me with another
Driving me mad, Driving me close
Driving..
Simply driving me to the edge
So confuse me
Dilute me
Destroy my hopes and Deny my heart
Smother my vessel, And make my glass half empty
I trusted you, you took advantage
I love you…
Though I still contemplate
Whether you ever loved me…




Submitted on 2005-08-13 18:17:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  I agree, the whole piece is full of emotion but the end is the best; the most eloquently put. The last 10 lines are my favorite. Poems are the best when they can make the reader feel what drove the writer to write.
| Posted on 2008-03-19 00:00:00 | by Morsketch | [ Reply to This ]
  damn man i really like this style of writing, you get what you wanna say out. I like the name two man, i'm gonna check out some more writings by you.
| Posted on 2005-09-09 00:00:00 | by withblindedeyez | [ Reply to This ]
  i really liked your style of writing here. it added so much power to already powerful emotions and words. The only thing i didnt like about it ..is that i can relate to it far too well. almost a painful read in that way. well anyways i also think the title could be better idk but thts me. its just a title after all. nice work
| Posted on 2005-09-09 00:00:00 | by brokensmile | [ Reply to This ]
  This Screams to me of the pain of broken and battered promises. The Chaos and confusion that love can cause.As well as the subtle deception of love. Thanks for this and your comments on my "Frustration of the nation"
JON
| Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by poppa jon | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow. This is gorgeous. I love the way you wrote it and the wording is perfect. You took a common topic and made it your own. That's great. There are so many lines I love, but if I pointed them all out I'd be copying and pasting all evening. I hope everything gets better for you though. I often find myself wondering if he ever loved me. So far, the only answer I got from myself was "no." But that's ok, I never really thought he did. I just kind of hoped, I guess. Oh well. Anyways, I like this a lot. Good luck with everything. Great job

-nikkki
| Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
  this was really well done. I agree with nikki.. you took the topic and made it your own.
your discriptions were alot of stuff i have heard, yet still put together in a different way.
you seemed to break through the boundry of the everyday poem, and also, the way you let your pain. was so beautifully put.
when most write in pain, they do not usually do as good as this, not a normal venting poem.

'Driving me mad, Driving me close
Driving..
Simply driving me to the edge
So confuse me
Dilute me
Destroy my hopes and Deny my heart
Smother my vessel, And make my glass half empty
I trusted you, you took advantage
I love you…
Though I still contemplate
Whether you ever loved me…'

as i said, beautifully done.
keep it up, i hope to read more from you!
jennifer
| Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
  "Hoping, Just Hoping..
You Knew..
That I loved You
That my world revolved around you
That a word from your lips gave me shivers"

I still pray that if nothing else, he will know how much I love(d) him. This was beautiful. You did an awesome job of expressing how much you loved her and how much she hurt you in the same poem. I think far too many people experience heartbreak far too often these days. Great job though. Hope to see more.
Hannah

P.S. If the pic is you, you are gorgeous.
| Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
  i liked the emotions put into this... its like mad but you still was thinking about it seriously.. and i liked that about it... its like you wanted to vent but you kept your composure.. good job
| Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by solemnpen | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a beautiful piece :) Although it has a lot of spelling errors and a few extra words, it's still great. I don't think I'd change much except for those things. Good job :) Sorry this was so brief. Byes
| Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by RealityTears | [ Reply to This ]
  damm. good job. the title fits too. i could see u sitting down tearing the petals off flowers wondering if this girl has feelings 4 u or if she is just toying with ur emotions. don't let it get 2 u too much. i'm glad i got 2 read this.
"troy"
| Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
  Ahhh...! The many splendid faces of a relationship! hahaha! This sounds like a classic dilemma in the life of most men out there! Yeah, women are tough to figure out! We are complex with lots of emotions! I like how you have written this one! You express your feelings well and the torment she is puting you through is evident in your words! I like this very much! Good poem! Take care!

Lorna
| Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



70447