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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I wonder why...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: painofthanatos
    Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 684/571/86
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 984
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 461



    Description:
       *shrugs*


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI wonder why...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I hold the phone up to my ear
    I hear all the miles that seperate us
    As you talk to your dad
    Do you even remember I'm still here
    ...Does Anyone?

    Your voice echoes through my empty heart
    As I turn up Mozart a little louder

    I wonder how your girlfriend's doing
    Then I wonder why I'd care
    I wonder why I refuse to let go of you
    Then I wonder why you'd care...




    Submitted on 2005-08-13 18:50:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      turning up the music is anoher reaction to things for me... something about drowning out silence and reminding people youre there... anyways. this was a good poem too. i agree with liv2lovethepain the length fits this.
    | Posted on 2005-11-22 00:00:00 | by namesdontmatter | [ Reply to This ]
      Ooo I love this. It's kind of short, but the length is perfect. The words are awesome, sad though. I know exactly what it's like to be on the phone with someone like that and wonder those things. It's hard, but I heard that you eventually let go. I haven't let go yet... I thought I have many times, but there's still those moments when you just know the truth. Anyways, I really hope everything works out for you. You're talented. I like this a lot. As usual, Great job

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      Other than all of the miles, I have been in that same situation, more times than I'd care to admit, with the same guy...They can let go and move about a million times faster than we can. I think the length is perfect to get your feelings across. Well done.
    | Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the first stanza. its original and it sets the poem up nicely. id be careful of [[Your voice echoes through my empty heart]], because it sounds a little cliché.
    im conflicted on whether or not i like the repetition in the last stanza....i unno :) maybe try playing with the wording a little

    keep up the writing, sophie
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by sudie | [ Reply to This ]


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