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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Deeper Than Blooddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: deathbelow
    Elite Ratio:    2.7 - 34/43/17
    Words: 157
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 769
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 950



    Description:
       This was a poem I wrote about my old best friend I knew she was suicidal and when she told me she started cutting herself again I lost it...I understand why she did it but I never knew how to help her...I guess I just never could....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDeeper Than Blooddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Dagger through the back,
    Heart and soul it hacks,
    Temptation to pick it up and do it again,
    Slowly touch the skin, scars tell where to begin,
    As it drips warm and red,
    Drops land on your bed
    And as you cry, I wonder why, all the pain your in
    Control, the ultimate control,
    Life you posses you hold,
    Deeper and stronger the wounds prevail,
    On these bloody rivers we will sail
    Sheets that were so clean and white,
    Are stained with bloody, blood tonight
    Turn and face the other way,
    What if you cut yourself too deep one day?
    It will bleed a crimson blood
    And you'll be gone, tears, sweat and mud
    But even stronger, deeper, harder than you could cut yourself,
    I die knowing I could never help,
    I feel it warm and hot
    Your soul back can never be bought
    So as you cry I wonder why all the pain your in.




    Submitted on 2005-08-13 23:30:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Great poem! i could only relate through the cutters eyes unfortunately, but i can understand what your going through a bit, @ least your not giving her a ultimatum, like if she cuts again, you wont be her friend, i saw some original lines in this piece, i really liked it ALOT, it was beutifully written
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by whatever14 | [ Reply to This ]
      cool imagery man... all the element are written completely in scale... the dagger, the blood, the color, the bed, great... keep up on that... I wish your friend understands the message of this piece.. and how important life is... keep it up...

    Write on!
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by Mer_de_Noms | [ Reply to This ]
      This was great
    The imagery was asowme, I wish your friend understands the message of this piece,
    You wrote this perfect i think my fave lines where

    "Temptation to pick it up and do it again,
    Slowly touch the skin, scars tell where to begin,"

    "Sheets that were so clean and white,
    Are stained with bloody, blood tonight
    Turn and face the other way,"

    well hope to hear from you and keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by seven11 | [ Reply to This ]
      this subject has been touched on alot on this site i was not aware this was an issue so many peopel face yours stood out though and taht made me happy i hate the same old stuff soem of lines just shhot out at me but i never lossed my place with me thats easy to do thanks for writing it
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by layDsayD | [ Reply to This ]


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