[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Deeper Than Blooddots

    Author: deathbelow
    Elite Ratio:    2.7 - 34/43/17
    Words: 157
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 797
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 950

       This was a poem I wrote about my old best friend I knew she was suicidal and when she told me she started cutting herself again I lost it...I understand why she did it but I never knew how to help her...I guess I just never could....

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDeeper Than Blooddots

    Dagger through the back,
    Heart and soul it hacks,
    Temptation to pick it up and do it again,
    Slowly touch the skin, scars tell where to begin,
    As it drips warm and red,
    Drops land on your bed
    And as you cry, I wonder why, all the pain your in
    Control, the ultimate control,
    Life you posses you hold,
    Deeper and stronger the wounds prevail,
    On these bloody rivers we will sail
    Sheets that were so clean and white,
    Are stained with bloody, blood tonight
    Turn and face the other way,
    What if you cut yourself too deep one day?
    It will bleed a crimson blood
    And you'll be gone, tears, sweat and mud
    But even stronger, deeper, harder than you could cut yourself,
    I die knowing I could never help,
    I feel it warm and hot
    Your soul back can never be bought
    So as you cry I wonder why all the pain your in.

    Submitted on 2005-08-13 23:30:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Great poem! i could only relate through the cutters eyes unfortunately, but i can understand what your going through a bit, @ least your not giving her a ultimatum, like if she cuts again, you wont be her friend, i saw some original lines in this piece, i really liked it ALOT, it was beutifully written
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by whatever14 | [ Reply to This ]
      cool imagery man... all the element are written completely in scale... the dagger, the blood, the color, the bed, great... keep up on that... I wish your friend understands the message of this piece.. and how important life is... keep it up...

    Write on!
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by Mer_de_Noms | [ Reply to This ]
      This was great
    The imagery was asowme, I wish your friend understands the message of this piece,
    You wrote this perfect i think my fave lines where

    "Temptation to pick it up and do it again,
    Slowly touch the skin, scars tell where to begin,"

    "Sheets that were so clean and white,
    Are stained with bloody, blood tonight
    Turn and face the other way,"

    well hope to hear from you and keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by seven11 | [ Reply to This ]
      this subject has been touched on alot on this site i was not aware this was an issue so many peopel face yours stood out though and taht made me happy i hate the same old stuff soem of lines just shhot out at me but i never lossed my place with me thats easy to do thanks for writing it
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by layDsayD | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Humanity's Loss, Humanity's Gain | prt o written by MyPeriodical
    Of A Better Future written by MyPeriodical
    Untitled written by taintedsmiles
    The annointed one is persecuted. written by MyPeriodical
    A Dream Within a Dream (My favorite EAP poem) written by Debauchery
    Rose colored glasses written by taintedsmiles
    Layin Tracks in Here written by teika5
    Cansansio written by MyPeriodical
    Silly Rulers. written by MyPeriodical
    We are Loved written by teika5
    Somewhere It's Always Morning written by Soul-Hugger
    Happy New Oblivion written by Pietro
    Challenge - Msg to a Mountain Lynx written by Daniel Barlow
    Remnants written by Soul-Hugger
    Los Desechados written by MyPeriodical
    Comparisons written by MyPeriodical
    No es asi, sabes written by MyPeriodical
    Oblivion written by TheStillSilence
    Understanding the pain of growth written by MyPeriodical
    I am still sorry. written by MyPeriodical
    The Veil written by Swimming Bird
    Expectations written by taintedsmiles
    Remember written by MyPeriodical
    Their fine denial written by MyPeriodical
    What its like written by robbie
    I Just Want to Have Fun written by SavedDragon
    Generation Lost in Space written by teika5
    MY VERY OWN DEATH written by Ethan Brody
    undetermined written by MyPeriodical
    Release written by robbie




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]