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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Now I'm the stupid sleaze...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: painofthanatos
    Elite Ratio:    4.32 - 684/571/86
    Words: 156
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 854
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1017



    Description:
       *grumble* *grumble* *grumble*


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNow I'm the stupid sleaze...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Youíre coming back
    And you didnít want me to know
    You said I canít be trusted
    That Iím some little sleaze
    But who are you to talk?

    You slept with someone else
    With my same name
    Before we broke up
    All the while assuring me you loved me

    You promised that youíd quit
    Cutting
    Smoking
    Skipping School
    And as you did all three
    You kept telling me you loved me
    You kept telling me you were through with those things

    You slept around
    And broke every promise you ever made me
    Every Single PromiseÖBroken

    And now Iím the one that canít be trusted
    Iím the fucking slut
    Because I kissed someone else
    -Once-
    Because I flirt with strangers
    That Iíll never see again
    Now Iím the stupid sleaze

    You say you donít trust me to see you
    You say you know I want you back
    I say youíre an arrogant asshole




    Submitted on 2005-08-14 09:43:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The anger in this is obvious and I have to admit I can't blame you...there were some very good lines in this, e.g
    'Every Single PromiseÖBroken' - very strong emphased (sorry can't spell) by the capital letters, it made it far more aggressive than the line before - almost like each word was a punch.
    'I say youíre an arrogant [censored]' - a very strong ending that showed exactly how you feel. It doesn't need to be wrapped up nicely in words, that was more than effective on it's own!
    | Posted on 2006-02-24 00:00:00 | by selfbetrayal | [ Reply to This ]
      Anger in your poetry, I sense. Control, your feelings, you must! Anyways. I know for me, writing is a good way to vent my anger, and I really can tell you did that. Haha. I know it's kind of..well, blunt and mean, but I like the ending of your poem. "I say you're an arrogant [censored]." It fits. And in some sick and twisted way, the poem ryhmes. So Master Yoda says, "Anger good, keep it up!".
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by Django | [ Reply to This ]
      Ooo yeah, I'm sensing the anger too. I like it. He does sound like an "arrogant [censored]." O he makes me so mad! I HATE people like that. Ok, anyways, back to commenting... every word was excellent. I got nothing but compliments for you. You expressed yourself very well. Oh sh*t... hold on... I swear, if i get electrocuted I'm gonna be so pissed. Ok... I fixed it. (I spilled water on some electrical things.) Anyways, I really like this a lot and I hope that expressing it made you feel at least a little bit better. Good luck with everything. Great job

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      Tell it like it is!

    I like this, cos you don't pull any punches, and hide nothing inside metaphors or symbols, it's all there!

    On a personal level, it sounds as if you're better off without him, so let it go...

    Nice rant.

    Be Happy

    graeme
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah, guys are good at pointing the finger for something while doing a worse version of the same thing. I've been through this several times, and you wrote how I felt. Geez, with your name. I always think they do that just so they can moan what they're used to and not feel guilty. I'm sorry crap like this happens; he sounds like a real jerk. I hope things get better (like you finding a new guy that treats you right), Amy
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      i say you punch him in the face. here are my thoughts:

    [[All the while assuring me you loved me]]
    who's assuming, you or him?

    [[Because I kissed someone else, once]]
    i was wondering if you could try putting "once" on a seperate line for more emphasis.

    and i lovee the entire last stanza, especially the last line (obviously). isnt it just fantastic when they make you out to be the bad person? i hope he gets run over by a wheel chair in the grocery store.
    sophie
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by sudie | [ Reply to This ]
      *walks in and posts his picture on the wall*
    *hands you some darts*

    go ahead...throw them...aim for his eyes!

    LOL!

    Never worry about what others come to say about you. Just stay focused on yourself. Being called names...that's childish...you can't just focus on a person that isn't focused on you. You must move on with life. Jealousy will make many others say and do things. All you can do is overlook them...know they are the ignorant ones...and keep your head up. Things do pass...

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]


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