wow, for lyrics that's just for venting, that was really good. I would suggest you make it a little longer, but i guess that will be a llittle hard now that you already vented out all the hurt. Well, besides that, i think it was really good. I don't believe it was your best, or the best you could do, but it was still good. That's it, im done.
Hey Its me again from the comments from the rest of your poems. I really like this poem. If anyone can anyone can understand how you feel its me. I have been hurt alot by love and when you get hurt that much you think theres nothing you can ever do and really there isnt but to just heal in your own way. This poem brought out the true feelings of heartbreak and I think this is a great poem. I loved it.I hope you get through whatever you may need to get through. I realize this is an old poem but I am just mentioning. And I know I dont know you but if you need advice you can always just ask me or send me a message. My site name is POETRY but my real name is Christina so yeah. Great poem. -Christina
hey jim, long time no comment! i'm sorry but i'm going to spoil your ratio!
ok lets start then! well first of all, great emotive work. i liked some parts that were too real and good to be true. you've got some beautiful phrases. but i dont really find a strong connection between them. thats all right tho, since its a song. the second and the the third stanzas were amazing. now i dont understand the fifth stanza. is it that you found out that you loved her, but she didnt love you after all, and was putting it all on? thats the impression i get. i dunno if its right!
so nice work, a little confusing for me. the structure was different, but good or bad i cant say, cause i really dont know!
I love everything about this. It's so sad in such a pretty way. The wording is unbelieveable. I have many favorite parts, and a couple of them are:
"An through the trials known as life I never realised until tonight... That I love you"
(That is so sweet. I can't even explain how great I think that is.)
"I know that I'm just too blind to see, I stopped caring about love And love stopped caring about me"
That's beautiful. I don't know, i guess this really touched me so much because I can relate. I know exactly what it's like and you said it perfectly. You are really talented. I hope everything gets better for you. I believe it will eventually. Great job
Wow. You know, I had that same outlook on life. I hated love. I mean it sucked being in love with someone who didnt even care. Until about two weeks ago, I fell in love. There is someone out there for you. You just have to keep on being you. Care about love, dont reject it, but respect that every one has thier day. I hope that yours is soon. So unpack your bags, fold your clothes neatly and put them back in your dresser. You need to keep being you. It is better to be shuned for who you are, than to be love for what your not. You will find your love, and when you do, you'll know it. Oh and about the poem. Great. I love how you didnt follow a sertain pattern. 3 lines here, 5 there. Also, I could actually feel what you were saying. Great job.
Wow. This is really good. It's beautiful and romantic, but still holds the pain, but without making it messy, if that makes sense. This is amazing. I've not seen one of this topic that is this beautifully done. I hope to talk to you soon. Later. Hannah
ya know what... i wanna see you smile. and i wanna read something that turns out good for you, i'm a fan of fairy tale endings. and this just was too real too great too sad. it was beautiful, i could really feel what you were saying ya know? "I never realised until tonight... That I love you" that was my favorite line, i just got this whoosh of something that settle in my stomach like wow... he just summed everything up right there... well maybe not everything but alot of your pain is seen when you realize this. and boy did you hit this mood in the head. i dont get any warm fuzzies when i read this, i get real feelings, memories, you just provoke the hell out of my thoughts. i like that, not many people can do that. anyways this was really great, and i hope you dont find yourself holding on for much longer, i can tell you from experience that holding on to nothing is the worst thing, you just have to find something else to focus on.
ok well i hope i get to talk to you soon, i'm gonna be busy all this week with relatives coming in, then school! can you beleive it.. anyways i really enjoyed this peice.
oh yeah and i loved the structure, it was something different then you usually do. KUDOS! -steph
Man love can be a [censored] and I just love how you tell it. We've all been there before and we've all felt the hurt, anyone who has'nt you've been lucky, so far. I definately like the structure it was different than what I've come to expect from you and thats good you know keep them guessing. i especially liked:
"I tried so hard to catch my breath And keep hold of all that I have left, An through the trials known as life I never realised until tonight... That I love you"
I Realy like your piece-believe me if I told you I have a similar personal poem written called..'Once again...'-YEAH!,I was surpised myself but I never submitted it.
"All the while I thought the road was hard to find Now I realise that I was simply left behind" -this is my fav' part coz it's a feeling i always went through myself... You should'nt feel this way-there's a point where one day u'll wake up and feel it's not worth it, or maybe she's not worth so much of pain...if someone can put u through so much pain in the begging...4ever they can your a great writter,keep up the good work. >Sharu<