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Tragic Saturday


Author: Poeticprincess
ASL Info:    18/f/Germany
Elite Ratio:    3.3 - 333 /325 /104
Words: 174
Class/Type: Poetry /Dark
Total Views: 545
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1145



Description:


This is a poem about rape, no it's not a true story and no i was never raped it just came to me. If you comment on this tell me the good and the bad.


Tragic Saturday



I'm going to tell a story
that's truthful with awe
about a nice young girl
and her tragic downfall

to those who knew her well
and those who knew her all
you might be able to prevent this
from happening again

There was once a nice young girl
filled with innocence not sin
her name was Florence Roberts
Please repeat this name again

they thought she lived a life
with innocence and thrill
but she really lived a life
with saddness that could kill

she hated to be alone
with that person unnamed
that person had an evil
an evil untamed

her mom worked long hours
and long hours she would wait
as he took her to a room
long hours he would take

one day she couldn't take it
while her parents were away
she made the headline news
that would hunt us to this day

her friend got there before
to witness stuff that day
a bullet to the head
t'was a tragic saturday




Submitted on 2005-08-14 21:29:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Very awesome and powerful write. I loved it. I'm going to check out the second part of this poem in a bit. This story/poem was so well written that you made it seem like truth, lol, I mean it, keep it up!
| Posted on 2005-11-27 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
  Very sad. Well rhymed. I think "that would hunt us to this day" will be "that would haunt us to this day"? And I don't get why many people don't punctuate properly...
| Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by Saaber | [ Reply to This ]
  wow...i liked this...ima add it o my favs...its very sad too...wow...man...dang that hits hard... really powerful word s in this peice

-Suicidalchild51-
| Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by Suicidalchild51 | [ Reply to This ]
  Ooo I dont even know what to say. The words are awesome. Such a sad story though. I'm glad it's not true, although I'm sure some people can probably relate. Anyways, very creative. Interesting story-type poem... I like it. Great job

-nikkki
| Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
  this was great and welcome to eliteskills looking forwad to reading mopre
very good story line and the images flowed perfectly
well done
sandman
| Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
  Great poem. Sad but good. I could visualize everything. And the wording was fantastic. Glad it's just made up. Interesting mind you have.
| Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by soul_driven | [ Reply to This ]
  I loved it, usually I don't like poems that rhyme to much but this one seemed to go together perfectly. But I would try to be a little more poetic, like using similies.
| Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by Naymless | [ Reply to This ]
  wow! The of the words help to put you into the the mind set of the person. I thought that this part
she hated to be alone
with that person unnamed
that person had an evil
an evil untamed
sorta drew you to what was going to happen next. All in all this poem made my heart stop because of the pain involved.
| Posted on 2005-08-21 00:00:00 | by ryuunokanojo | [ Reply to This ]


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