Tragic Saturday
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Description:
This is a poem about rape, no it's not a true story and no i was never raped it just came to me. If you comment on this tell me the good and the bad.
Tragic Saturday
I'm going to tell a story that's truthful with awe about a nice young girl and her tragic downfall to those who knew her well and those who knew her all you might be able to prevent this from happening again There was once a nice young girl filled with innocence not sin her name was Florence Roberts Please repeat this name again they thought she lived a life with innocence and thrill but she really lived a life with saddness that could kill she hated to be alone with that person unnamed that person had an evil an evil untamed her mom worked long hours and long hours she would wait as he took her to a room long hours he would take one day she couldn't take it while her parents were away she made the headline news that would hunt us to this day her friend got there before to witness stuff that day a bullet to the head t'was a tragic saturday |
Submitted on 2005-08-14 21:29:13 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments
Very awesome and powerful write. I loved it. I'm going to check out the second part of this poem in a bit. This story/poem was so well written that you made it seem like truth, lol, I mean it, keep it up!| | Posted on 2005-11-27 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ] | Very sad. Well rhymed. I think "that would hunt us to this day" will be "that would haunt us to this day"? And I don't get why many people don't punctuate properly... | | Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by Saaber | [ Reply to This ] | wow...i liked this...ima add it o my favs...its very sad too...wow...man...dang that hits hard... really powerful word s in this peice | -Suicidalchild51- | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by Suicidalchild51 | [ Reply to This ] | Ooo I dont even know what to say. The words are awesome. Such a sad story though. I'm glad it's not true, although I'm sure some people can probably relate. Anyways, very creative. Interesting story-type poem... I like it. Great job |  -nikkki | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ] | this was great and welcome to eliteskills looking forwad to reading mopre | very good story line and the images flowed perfectly well done sandman | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ] | Great poem. Sad but good. I could visualize everything. And the wording was fantastic. Glad it's just made up. Interesting mind you have. | | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by soul_driven | [ Reply to This ] | I loved it, usually I don't like poems that rhyme to much but this one seemed to go together perfectly. But I would try to be a little more poetic, like using similies. | | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by Naymless | [ Reply to This ] | wow! The of the words help to put you into the the mind set of the person. I thought that this part | she hated to be alone with that person unnamed that person had an evil an evil untamed sorta drew you to what was going to happen next. All in all this poem made my heart stop because of the pain involved. | Posted on 2005-08-21 00:00:00 | by ryuunokanojo | [ Reply to This ] | |
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