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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: SEVEN STARS TONGHTdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: layDsayD
    ASL Info:    29/f/florida
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 264/243/147
    Words: 83
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 554
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 495



    Description:
       thank you to all that read and comment i want to mention that most my tittles dont really fit to the reader i have tried to change this but cant bring myself too it always fist to me though i think its my way of keepin it mine since my writing are personal sometimes i liek tehre to be something only i can see this one for example is tittle seven stars tonght because i wrote it outside and i counted teh stars that night there were seven


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    dotsSEVEN STARS TONGHTdots
    -------------------------------------------




    This room.
    Always spinning.
    Clumsily I fall to the unmade bed.
    This sickness unknown .
    I am not sure I will ever really know it .
    I love it though ,it is me .
    It helps control the rampant memories.
    Holding the battle at bay .
    My world seems to blur together more these days.
    My mind has lost its place again .
    My hands begin there familiar shake .
    My enemy is illusive.
    I think I may be losing.




    Submitted on 2005-08-14 22:44:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Good poem I liked you imagry...and by the way yyour titles are fine...It makes the reader, atleast me, try to figure out what exactly they mean and it puts a new perspective on what the poetry or title might have to do with one another..or mean in this case...I think your poetry is really good...Good Job!
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by deathbelow | [ Reply to This ]
      You write well. you flow into each sentence flawlessly and you have great imagery. you write to make people see what you want them too and maybe by the imagenation you make them see more then you write. i enjoyed the unmade bed part and that it seems you are talking about getting older But you approached it in a different manner which is what any good writer does.

    Semper Fidelis,
    Christopher
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]
      This is beautiful. If I could I would give you a chocolate star, but I don't know where I could get one, or how I could get it to you, but the novelty is still there, right?

    I like your philosophy of personalizing your poems, I do it to all of mine, most of my titles are totally irrelevant to the reader. But this poem made me feel like I was there, the atmosphere was a soft deep blue by the way. I think I might be the only one who saw that but hey, who's judging?

    This was pretty darn good.

    Tragicly,
    Disguising love as words
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by bloodwing | [ Reply to This ]


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