Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: AWAITING PERFECT DELIGHTdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: layDsayD
    ASL Info:    29/f/florida
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 264/243/147
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 710
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 468



    Description:
       i have desided due to manys comments on the titles i use that i may need to give a lil info on them this one referrs to waitng fo rthe high to hit after the pills are taken


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAWAITING PERFECT DELIGHTdots
    -------------------------------------------



    Artificial candle light engulfs the mirror in its solemn glow .
    She brushes a red velvet sleeve over her fevered forehead.
    As if she could wipe it all away .
    Droplets of envied liquid nature cling to the looking glass.
    It helps to keep the mood somber.
    The slow uncoiling of the snake reminds her of its hunger.
    Her hunger.
    She realizes her dingy socks donít match her dress.
    And are more like her mood




    Submitted on 2005-08-14 22:51:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      mirror reflecting a glow of spells
    dizzieness was the reason she fell
    puddle of sweet she lays
    eyes mustarded and glazed
    giggles from the hint of light
    darker the light when it's bright

    lol my version sucked
    get inspired when I really like a poem
    peace
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by dudethis | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Lady, I thought I could at least try for one of your poems. I read both that were posted tonight. And both are great. I love the way you just harmonize your words. It's like so soothing the with the flow you used. I like the fact in both poems the person is facing a unwanted demon in their life, and their reaction to it. Great job. Now to bed! lol.
    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      both were short, and i liked it, it brought down to the importent pieces of the poem, oh ya read the seven stars, and it was just as good
    keep writing, i'll read
    -Ashes
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by BlindToYou | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this one. It's great the image of women always getting prepared for going out. This piece shows a little different side to that. Her subconcious tells her more about what's going on with her pair of socks and that she should probably just stay home and relax instead of go out and try to be something she's not. Beautiful


    Semper Fidelis,
    Christopher
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't like this as well as the last one, but it is still good. I like the last line about her socks and mood and all that pretty stuff.

    If this poem was a flower, I would water it- in a good way I mean, not that it needs to grow, but that I want it to live, I think... You get it, don't you?

    Anyway.

    Sadly,
    Phrases for thoughts
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by bloodwing | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    70580

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Giving written by jjd
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Incubus written by monad
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    To written by SavedDragon
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry