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    dots Submission Name: AWAITING PERFECT DELIGHTdots

    Author: layDsayD
    ASL Info:    29/f/florida
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 264/243/147
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 710
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 468

       i have desided due to manys comments on the titles i use that i may need to give a lil info on them this one referrs to waitng fo rthe high to hit after the pills are taken

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Artificial candle light engulfs the mirror in its solemn glow .
    She brushes a red velvet sleeve over her fevered forehead.
    As if she could wipe it all away .
    Droplets of envied liquid nature cling to the looking glass.
    It helps to keep the mood somber.
    The slow uncoiling of the snake reminds her of its hunger.
    Her hunger.
    She realizes her dingy socks donít match her dress.
    And are more like her mood

    Submitted on 2005-08-14 22:51:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      mirror reflecting a glow of spells
    dizzieness was the reason she fell
    puddle of sweet she lays
    eyes mustarded and glazed
    giggles from the hint of light
    darker the light when it's bright

    lol my version sucked
    get inspired when I really like a poem
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by dudethis | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Lady, I thought I could at least try for one of your poems. I read both that were posted tonight. And both are great. I love the way you just harmonize your words. It's like so soothing the with the flow you used. I like the fact in both poems the person is facing a unwanted demon in their life, and their reaction to it. Great job. Now to bed! lol.
    | Posted on 2005-08-14 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      both were short, and i liked it, it brought down to the importent pieces of the poem, oh ya read the seven stars, and it was just as good
    keep writing, i'll read
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by BlindToYou | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this one. It's great the image of women always getting prepared for going out. This piece shows a little different side to that. Her subconcious tells her more about what's going on with her pair of socks and that she should probably just stay home and relax instead of go out and try to be something she's not. Beautiful

    Semper Fidelis,
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't like this as well as the last one, but it is still good. I like the last line about her socks and mood and all that pretty stuff.

    If this poem was a flower, I would water it- in a good way I mean, not that it needs to grow, but that I want it to live, I think... You get it, don't you?


    Phrases for thoughts
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by bloodwing | [ Reply to This ]

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