Midnight Sun -------------------------------------------
Sitting on the rocks
Forgetting the day
White-capped waves crashing
Against the shore below
Late night sky
Onto a somber ocean
When upon the horizon
A mystical sight...
Subtle glow erupts into
Passion fire burning
The water's surface
Splashes autumn colors
Across the sea
Illuminating vibrant beauty
Deep dark orange
Against a black background
Revealing a perfect circle
With a full face, all smiles...
The midnight sun
I don't know why, but this makes me think of an eclipse towards the end. The vivid imagery was wonderful in this and the prose itself was written well, but not so the reader was lost. I'm probably lost the on the real meaning behind this, but what I got out of it was still pretty good. Nice write
You know, there's really very little I can offer you in the form of critique. All of your poems show good word choice, good grammer, good flow, yadd yadda yadda. You excel at all of the language parts of poetry.
Where this piece stands out from some of your other work is the specific image behind the words. The moon can look enormous on the horizon. Living on the west coast, I've never seen moonrise over the ocean, although I have watched my share of sunsets. Your piece brought that dramatic moonrise to life for me.
The ironic title attracted me to read this poem , "the mid night sun" I would have called it a moon, but very creative of you. It seems that you always have so many comments that I don't know what to say. I love poems on nature, this one was good. Thanks for sharing Have a good day John*
so beautiful is this piece.. if I close my eyes I can see it and almost touch it.. I love the full moon it's so special has to make you smile :) loved the picture you painted in this piece mystical it surly is :)
Beautiful Lorna This write created a picture in my mind of pure Beauty It was almost like a creation story and as to how the ocean and moon came to be Very beautifully written Loved it Take Care Your Friend Ron
And by the way know sooner did I put out the Poem Imagination than quickly i recieved about 3 emails talking to me about creating a song out of it or by using it in the Linear notes of a new alblum An attorney I know suggested I take this one down because it was too good to leave out in the open That write might be the one that gets me recognized Lorna I really feel good about this Wish me Luck Ron
You have quite a following.. and with good reason. Your descriptive ability is really very good and of course, this reflects directly in your writing. All I have read of yours just seems to flow and fall together.
This gives the reader an image in their mind and pulls them in. I am not sure if you do this on purpose, or if it just your natural style. I suspect the latter is the case, as it is present in all of the pieces I have read of yours.
Well written and beautifully descriptive - just as a 'proper' poet should be.
I just loved the free feel and flow to this beautiful piece - I loved the accompanying picture and you gave such a vivid and illustrative description and dedication to the midnight sun moon! BRAVO~~~ Love,Peace,Joy ~ Know,Experience,Joy~~~ tif
I loved this one! I like moon poems any time, but your descriptions are snapshot perfect, and create a mood of awe at the sheer majesty of the Harvest Moon at the same time. My fave part was "Passion fire burning The water's surface Flaming higher Splashing autumn colors Across the sea"
Wow! Lorna, your image creation was outstanding. I was first drawn to your title "Midnight Sun", I pictured a full harvest moon, which indeed it is. Sitting by the ocean, observing the waxing and waning, exciting yet at the same time has a calming affect on you.
I, too, have been at the ocean, night time. It seems to excite all our natural senses. I love the smell of the salt water, watching and hearing the waves crash upon the shore, tasting the salty air, with bare feet playing with the sand.
What a great experience many people never have. What a wonderful and beautiful thing created for our enjoyment. And, if this can be shared with one you love, how much better can life be.
The imagery you created in your poem took me back to the times I was able to share this experience with Dick.
Thank you for sharing this, and my friend, may God bless, Yvonne
i could just see it! beautiful description of the full moon reflecting off the water. serene and delightful. wonderful images.. thanks for the peek at the full moon in all her glory! peace&reflection ~Cat
I am so pleased you were there to capture this image for us. It paints a beautiful photo in the mind and feels somewhat surreal in it's description. Perhaps more a Paul Klee than a Van Gogh, with vibrant colors and light consuming everything.
Good plan maestro, I think you pulled this one together very well. Thanks for sharing, quite a write, my dear! peace and love, Nan
Wish I'd been there. What a breathtaking picture. Beautiful and serene. I must admit I've never had the pleasure of viewing a midnight sun.. well, until now, with your lovely depiction. Thank you for sharing this. I can image it in my minds eye. Sitting out on the rocks at late evening and then to have this wonder suddenly emerge over the ocean.
One of these days I'm going to learn to read the description before I read the poem and not after. I was sitting thinking, "Midnight Sun? Lorna must live in Alaska or something". LOL . This is a very beautiful poem Lorna. Very descriptive and colorful. Your words brought me to the shoreline to watch the moon ascend. There's nothing I would change at all. Thanks for submitting it. Bill
BEAUTIFUL. Just beautiful. Il ove the imagery and the flow. It was like I was sitting there watching all this take place. I have never seen this happen yet. I'm always at the beach in the day time. But I will make it my aim to witness such a sight. This was breathtaking...and it was calming, all at once. Great job. Maggie
this was beautifully written. just got me away into my own little world for a second. i love the name, it sounds so elegant. i just wrote something that kinda reminded me of this, something about egg harbor, but yeah i cant find anything to say to you! i'm sorry, i'm crummy today, but this was great! some of it was a little off with the flow, but it didnt really catch me -steph
Everything I have to say has already been said...it is truly beautiful. I am going to ask my friend to read it and see what he thinks; I'm sure he will love it as well. Anyways, my favorite part is "Moonlight madness Illuminating vibrant beauty", but I really like it all.
this poem is beyond breathtaking. i love this write so much. taking a moon glistening down on the water and it truly makes you want to see it at this very moment. Illuminating vibrant beauty that line makes me want to stop pause and re-read again. the word vibrant always captures all for me. one of my favorite words. but question when i read this i picture either the sun setting on the water or a full bright orange moon (which ive only seen a few times) sitting againist the water. either way very beautiful. i think watching the moon reflect on the ocean at night is one of the most gorgeous and romantic moments of life. i was actaully having quite a boring frustrating day but reading this has made me smile. you wrote this piece very elegantly and deserves the credit to sit upon my favorites. thank you for making my day with this piece. take care Jesi~
I liked this prose/poem and felt the imagery was really wonderful. It takes skill to be able to paint pictures like that so the reader can get lost in the moment. I didn't like the style you chose to tell the story in though. It seems distant and fragmented/disjointed so that it becomes like hearing someone's account of how the sun looked instead of being able to step into their shoes. I guess that contradicts what I said at the start but all I'm saying is that you might be able to heighten the reader's experience if you consider some of those points. All in all it was a pleasure to come across this poem because the imagery was simply wonderful DB
Hey Lorna! This was so wonderful! There's not a thing that I would change about this. I could see this moon rising so clearly. I love the huge harvest moons that you see in the country, they are so beautiful. I don't live near the ocean, but I can just imagine how exquisite this would be!
Moonlight madness Illuminating vibrant beauty
That was my favorite! Another great write from the amazing mind of Lorna! Candi
fantastic account of the moonrise. it must be huge when it rises like that over the ocean. what better moment then to give your love a big smoochy with a big brillaint moon in the backdrop ahhhh, "amour en raison de la lune" [french]/// "Liebe angesichts des Mondes" [german],/// "amore in considerazione della luna" [itallian],/// "amor en la vista de la luna" [spanish]/// (((love in view of the moon))) no i dont speak those but it was fun looking them up, mike ps....fav ;)
I don't remember who said that, but it seems befitting of this poem. This piece sounds so content, so relaxed. As if you just shed work, spouse, children, complaints, arguments, trafic and every other mundane, head-splitting moment a single day can enduce...only to sit and stare at something older than human kind, older than God, older than time. It's that bone-deep meditation (be it conscious or otherwise) that's so dam hard to describe...but you came so perfectly close with this piece. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this.
aaaawwwww Lorna just pure beautiful magic , you have the ability to make me believe i'm there and i can see it and my god is it breathtaking , i love the night its so peaceful and great for forgetting your troubles. truly amazing take care Elaine x
Hi Lorna, This is REMARKABLE...and I do mean it. Beautiful and breathtaking. The midnight sun, yes indeed.
Flaming higher Splashing autumn colors
I can actually picture myself looking up and seeing what you describe. Beautiful!
With a full face, all smiles The midnight sun
Girl, now I'm going to have to go and take a walk by the lake, probably tonight. Weather permitting. As always Lorna, I look forward to reading your pieces. Pure artwork! A great Write! Take care Lorna, wanda