Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

The Shadow of We


Author: Emerging Soul
ASL Info:    48/VERY female/Wisconsin
Elite Ratio:    4.36 - 1240 /1114 /244
Words: 172
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1144
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1156



Description:




The Shadow of We



Creeping around the shell of who I am
Pin-pricked ends
Blowing yolk-soul upon poetry walls
Dripping onto you
Onto me
Onto the shadow of we

I am hollow inside
Like the depth of your smile
The whisper of empty
Echoes my name

The vultures of reality
Peck relentlessly at me
Carrying pieces away
To nest inside your mind
Forming you
Forming me
And the shadow of we

Build me around you
Your fortress, your shroud
Then discard me back to emptiness
so that I am once again
Hollow
Void of depth and reason
For I cannot see beyond your eyes

My heart struggles against
The closed view of your mind
With dry and painful beats
It strains to move

My voice falls below you
My wounds refuse to heal
I am buried
By the power
And the weight
Of your love

Your love for you
And of me
And of the shadow of we
As I slip into my nothingness
And slowly cease to be




Submitted on 2004-04-14 13:08:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  I loved this poem and I think the way you put your words together were beautiful. It touched me.
| Posted on 2004-04-14 00:00:00 | by Broken Angel | [ Reply to This ]
  very powerful, stirs emotions of hopeless attempts to love one wh doesn't love back, is a good write for the microphone,
| Posted on 2004-04-14 00:00:00 | by brokenbatman | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



7064