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    dots Submission Name: Jonathondots

    Author: Epiphany
    ASL Info:    42/F/Universe
    Elite Ratio:    4.38 - 3342/2139/390
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Prose/Serious
    Total Views: 506
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 491

       Another poem I found from 1996 - I wrote this when my brother, Jonathon, committed suicide.

    tif ; )

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Away on the wings of a bird
    his life flew ~ ~
    Sliding down a rainbow of darkness
    no one had a clue;
    Or a care for that matter - they misunderstood.
    Gone was this beauty of life
    into death.
    Quietly screaming to the deaf ears of love
    he took his last breath;
    Of life ~ did it matter...they misunderstood?
    Darkness was better to see in
    than light.
    Hope no partner in despair ~
    day not welcome in night.

    Submitted on 2005-08-15 16:40:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      hi yesteday i read your poem jonathon and then i wrote the second untitled in his memory and to my family loss hope you dont mind i am glad you liked it i had to delete the other poems as i lost the usage of computer so i deleted eveything i had 7 books worth plus everything on es site anyways i hope all is well
    thanx again
    and enjoy the dedication you can title it if you want
    thanx sandman
    | Posted on 2005-08-17 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      The darkness is used to mastery the dark rainbow and darkness is better to see in. It's wonderful work yet it's sad that this happend to you. How we lose those that mean so much because we can never understand what they are going through. your flow is very good and the way you break and pause almost seems like you are catching your breath.

    Semper Fidelis,
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]
      Very heartfelt and written with lots of emotion - the perfect recipe for a very good poem such as this. Your phrasing and structure were spot on and brought out the best in what you were saying.
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      Im not sure if I feel right commenting on this but since it is here I will.
    Fisrt let me say I am sorry for what happened.

    I feel very close to this poem because I have personally been there before.
    I slide down that rainbow into the pit od despair and darkness but I was lucky that I emerged from it when I did.
    My cries feel on deaf ears and my hand was swooshed away.
    But I forced myself to get better
    after all I am still here.

    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by armand | [ Reply to This ]
      I am very sorry about your brother...
    This poem is very good...I liked it a lot...
    It was very sad...I liked the line 'no one had a clue;
    Or a care for that matter - they misunderstood'
    It made me really sad...
    This was a very good poem...very good indeed...Again I say...I am really sorry about your brother..

    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by jessie thomas | [ Reply to This ]
      Such an emotional subject handled to eloquently. You took a subject of many who have experianced, and captured in words what many have failed at doing so. You avoided clichés (which I abhore) and added a fresh, dramatic and poingnant emphasis to such a horrible event. My deepest condolances.
    your friend
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by BenCollier | [ Reply to This ]
      hey i dont no what to say i love the emotional
    line to this piece loss of a family member is alwaz tough especially when they are young i had a brother die when i was very young
    thanx for your comment on untitled i am glad you enjoyed
    hope all is well
    thanx sandman
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm sorry for your loss. This was a very beautiful and emotional poem to read. It tapped into your pain as well as his. This was touching and heartfelt.
    | Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]

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