Away on the wings of a bird
his life flew ~ ~
Sliding down a rainbow of darkness
no one had a clue;
Or a care for that matter - they misunderstood.
Gone was this beauty of life
Quietly screaming to the deaf ears of love
he took his last breath;
Of life ~ did it matter...they misunderstood?
Darkness was better to see in
Hope no partner in despair ~
day not welcome in night.
hi yesteday i read your poem jonathon and then i wrote the second untitled in his memory and to my family loss hope you dont mind i am glad you liked it i had to delete the other poems as i lost the usage of computer so i deleted eveything i had 7 books worth plus everything on es site anyways i hope all is well thanx again and enjoy the dedication you can title it if you want thanx sandman
The darkness is used to mastery the dark rainbow and darkness is better to see in. It's wonderful work yet it's sad that this happend to you. How we lose those that mean so much because we can never understand what they are going through. your flow is very good and the way you break and pause almost seems like you are catching your breath.
Im not sure if I feel right commenting on this but since it is here I will. Fisrt let me say I am sorry for what happened.
I feel very close to this poem because I have personally been there before. I slide down that rainbow into the pit od despair and darkness but I was lucky that I emerged from it when I did. My cries feel on deaf ears and my hand was swooshed away. But I forced myself to get better after all I am still here.
I am very sorry about your brother... This poem is very good...I liked it a lot... It was very sad...I liked the line 'no one had a clue; Or a care for that matter - they misunderstood' It made me really sad... This was a very good poem...very good indeed...Again I say...I am really sorry about your brother..
Such an emotional subject handled to eloquently. You took a subject of many who have experianced, and captured in words what many have failed at doing so. You avoided clichés (which I abhore) and added a fresh, dramatic and poingnant emphasis to such a horrible event. My deepest condolances. your friend ben
hey i dont no what to say i love the emotional line to this piece loss of a family member is alwaz tough especially when they are young i had a brother die when i was very young thanx for your comment on untitled i am glad you enjoyed hope all is well thanx sandman