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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: drinking to carelessnessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: robertbwell
    ASL Info:    23/m/Wyoming
    Elite Ratio:    3 - 92/150/75
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 952
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1066



    Description:
       old poem about an ex girlfriend of mine


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsdrinking to carelessnessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i drink to abandon the guilt
    to deconstruct the evil things i have built
    but no spirit can wash Her away
    the ways i have soiled her
    echo through the day

    remorse is an understatement
    for the things i have done to her
    the things i have taken
    the things i have given
    the things i can not cure

    if only she could realize
    what she does swells in my eyes
    not from pride, but from something once loved and now despised

    for she is a desendent of my carelessness
    she is my creation
    she leaves me with hopelessness
    in a dream of devestation
    only to awake and fight the tears
    brought forth by memories of better years

    it is obvious she hurts inside
    her feelings are long over due
    it is obvious we are in common
    because her feelings hurt me to

    not just from empathy
    not from seeing her cry
    but because everything i have done to her
    has left me alone to die




    Submitted on 2005-08-15 20:09:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      wow that was really good. you put a lot of emotion into this, it truely reflects how you felt about this person. i, myself have had a situation like that. sometimes you want to hate the person, but other times, makes you want to love, and embrace them. but i think its great, theres nothing that i would say bad about it, you did an exellent job, and thank you for commenting on my poem..

    *Kimmy
    | Posted on 2006-12-30 00:00:00 | by Kimmy | [ Reply to This ]
      I really loved the emotion poured into this piece. One thing you could prolly do is read through it to find the spelling errors. There were quite a few. But other than that, this was a very amazing piece. I realte to it so much. We always kill the ones we love.
    | Posted on 2005-08-20 00:00:00 | by vbnz | [ Reply to This ]
      wow i realy felt the emotion in this. it was very deep and though i cant realy relate that much i could feel your pain hope to hear more from you soon

    ~Gena~
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by luvy | [ Reply to This ]
      this i loved cause i can relate but there is more to it then that it flowed well and didnt seem rehearsed at all very good really really good
    | Posted on 2005-08-15 00:00:00 | by layDsayD | [ Reply to This ]
      yesterday i layed in my bed for 2 hours staring at the wall thinking about an ex i was crazy over. if i could have put my thoughts into words it would have been very similar to this. your aim was flawless and the delivery was professional.

    remorse is an understatement
    for the things i have done to her
    the things i have taken
    the things i have given
    the things i can not cure

    you had me at this point. great work.
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by Butterfly Bullets | [ Reply to This ]
      well well well .
    once again...
    jesus there are so many people out there who are hurting...just like me...
    this is a great piece.

    "she is a descendent of my carelessness"

    ...he's a descendent of mine too...:(
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by graffitijeans | [ Reply to This ]
      This was nicely done, and well thought out.

    It seems to me to be a song, I can certainly put music to it, and it tells an oft-told story of how we destroy the things we love.

    Bloody well done, liked it a lot,

    be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      I hate knowing that you do the things you do because you are hurt...and hurt by someone, and by someone that you would f u c k i n g die for...this poem to me reflected that...and I'm sorry man if this is true...I hate it when you give someone your heart and they take it...hold it, squeeze tightly, torturing you with pain but not completely killing you and then taking it all away and ripping it apart.

    Jazmine
    | Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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