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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Try to believedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: daniel05
    ASL Info:    16/male/LA
    Elite Ratio:    6.11 - 92/52/7
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 839
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 559



    Description:
       this is just some random thoughts... take it as you please....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTry to believedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Atrocities at every corner
    Death on every doorstep
    As you turn to your loved ones
    Who is gonna be next?

    Text filled with emotions
    Your head filled with thoughts
    You think you will get by
    But at whose cost?

    Shameful actions
    Cause dirty deeds
    There are better things to do
    Than to just write, try to believe

    That you make the difference
    You are the inspiration
    To keep somebody going
    Whatever you do, don't lose your dedication




    Submitted on 2005-08-16 00:09:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is a really nice, positive piece. It shows determination and support, it builds a great safety net for those that need a little boost.

    Excellent write :) Hope to read more from you in the future!

    *hugs a plenty*
    AVry
    | Posted on 2005-11-02 00:00:00 | by SouthrnQT | [ Reply to This ]
      That was a good expression of getting people to do and to be. I feel that we need to make a go of what we have surrounding us in life. And to better someone else's condition is to better our own.
    Nothing is cheap and nothing is trully free.
    And well, there is a voice ringing out on behalf of what needs to be because you chose to move and speak out. Will read you again soon. :_)
    | Posted on 2005-10-11 00:00:00 | by arkayye | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey Daniel

    Nice little poem ;0)

    I have read your poem and most say that you really have an interesting idea. You are operating with a lot of words and a lot of facts and feelings, which can be very hard to deal with, when you have chosen to write as you do. I think that you could make it even more interesting, if you worked more with the low in the poem, because it is a little bit hard to get through. So work with the flow and I think you could make it even more interesting ;0)

    Keep writing ;0)

    KNS
    | Posted on 2005-09-05 00:00:00 | by KNS | [ Reply to This ]
      I agre with your philosophy! More people should get involved, do something for their community, school, church, whatever. It is a question of attitude, involved people respect others. Most people, however prefer to stay at home, absorbed by what they call "reality" TV. There is no reality on TV, it exists in your life and in the lives of others. Let's all go do something, now that's real.

    Your poem points out the consequences of apathy. You call for us to believe and to do something. I cvannot agree more. Thanks for the post.

    Phil
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, uhm, i can totally relate to this peom because of somthing that just recently happend. But, it was wonderfully writen, simple and to the point.

    "That you make the difference
    You are the inspiration
    To keep somebody going
    Whatever you do, don't lose your dedication"

    I really like this because my friend didn't think that he could go on because of one person's love that had seemed to not be as strong so he thought he would just end it, cause that person was her life and he never thought about the other people (including me) that wanted him to live. SO... i almost want him to read this..

    I really like this
    "Text filled with emotions
    Your head filled with thoughts
    You think you will get by
    But at whose cost?"

    It really made me wonder.

    great job and i'll add this to my favorites!
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by Maki | [ Reply to This ]
      Be the change you wish in the world... Ghandi, I think. I like this poem, because it is hopeful and stands for good actions to get good results. I get frustrated about writing myself sometimes, I feel like I'm wasting my time when I should be doing something more worthwhile like, hell I don't know, knitting sweaters for starving children in freezing countries... sometimes it feels overwhelming to do our little "one good deed" when the world is so creepy and evil and every little act of good is swallowed up in the monstrous mouth of evil... but this reminds everyone, they need to try anyway, and that's the right message! Keep writing and inspiring!
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by grey_girl | [ Reply to This ]


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