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    dots Submission Name: Secret Witnessdots

    Author: Inducted_Kitty
    Elite Ratio:    4.27 - 309/427/118
    Words: 303
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 643
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1962

       Just a dark thought that surfaced...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots Secret Witnessdots

    I saw him moving in the dark
    beneath a Harvest Moon,
    He was dragging something heavy
    and humming a vague little tune.

    And my mind began to wonder...

    So, I watched him toil with interest
    and once, he turned around,
    I held my breath and waited
    Trying not to make a sound.

    And my heart froze...

    Returning to his labour
    he was bent into his task,
    I swear his face was covered
    as though he wore a mask.

    And my senses tingled...

    I watched him as he dug a hole
    the spade was digging deep,
    His back was turned toward me
    so his secret he could keep.

    And my imagination soared...

    When he was finally finished
    and wiped his brow with just a rag,
    He stepped aside and did reveal
    a large brown burlap bag.

    And my skin crawled...

    My eyes were straining in the dark
    to focus I did try,
    And then the moonlight shifted
    In the dark and mournful sky.

    And my curiosity peaked...

    I was a secret witness then
    to a private interment,
    I bowed my head in silent prayer
    as he continued, his broad back bent.

    And my heart shuddered...

    He piled the dirt back in the hole
    he'd worked so hard to make,
    Then he stood back to view his work
    in a morbid kind of wake.

    And I wept...

    He looked around just one more time
    to make sure he hadn't been seen,
    And walked away into the night
    I looked to where he'd been.

    And my heart sank...

    Emerging from my hiding place
    I walked slowly to that site,
    Where I had been a witness
    To a murder that dark night.

    And my heart broke...

    Submitted on 2005-08-16 00:34:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, totally disturbing! This made my skin crawl. I liked it much, and it gripped my attention to the end (something rare for me!)
    I like the story plot it had, but the ending I kinda wanted the writer to start digging... I want to know what was in the bag! LOL
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by grey_girl | [ Reply to This ]
      Absolutly love it, reminds me a lot of... dont really know but I can picture the entire thing out in my head like a horror movie...well not like thoes [censored]ty ones out now-a-days but the good ones. Real gripping to the senses. Like your next to the person watching it and your justs as tuned and interested on what is going on. Yeah this rocks.
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by Black-Wall | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really good! It just gave me the creeps and sooo spooky! You described this guy so well and the scene, I could see everything just as if I were you standing there watching this whole thing. I kept reading and the more I read the better this got and the suspense of what would happen next! This is so well written and it all just flowed beautifully and the rhyme is great. I cant find anything here I did not like. You even leave the reader in suspense at the end by only revealing that it was murder, not telling what or who was in the bag. Very nicely written indeed! This is going to my faves! Great stuff here! Take care!

    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi Cheryl,
    This was, let's see how can I put it...eerie, evil and just darn right spooky. I'm glad I read it when it was daylight.lol. You know what they say about your mind can play tricks.ha!

    Anyway, your piece read like a script from a Dean Koontz or a Stephen King write. That's good! I can actually place myself within your poem. ( You know place yourself at the scene). I can role play from this write. Spinechillin, a definite.

    This is a good write! Scary...take care, wanda
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by bigfineq | [ Reply to This ]

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