Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cancer Ridden Snakedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Misc/Angry
    Total Views: 887
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 633



    Description:
       Just kinda pissed off right now.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCancer Ridden Snakedots
    -------------------------------------------


    born in the year of the snake
    on your belly you crawl
    hiding between blades of glass that I love
    lure me in
    and bite me
    let me win
    and kill me

    born as every kind of cancer
    hard shell
    filled thick with disease
    a disease that you push through my skin
    with poison fangs
    lies you use to win

    born only to hate
    born only to fill this world with charmful lies
    your only use to abuse
    your purpose soley to hurt
    to hate
    to pull the hate in me
    filthy snake
    cancerous boy of lies




    Submitted on 2005-08-16 13:20:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow...its about Justin isn't it? What happened to you two? He wont tell me much about it...
    I liked this poem a lot...the title is eye catching and I can feel the emotion that went into it...reading it made me want to be all like...'yeah you stupid cancerous snake...'
    I liked this poem a lot...very good job my friend...
    So you may get out of Tennessee...YAY...bestest of wishes..I pray for you friend...

    ...jessie...
    | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by jessie thomas | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh HELL YEAH! U go. A excellant choice of verbage to describe your anger. I loved the connection betweencancer and snakes. Two completely differant entities yet both despised. He musta really peed u off.
    very nicely done
    your friend
    ben
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by BenCollier | [ Reply to This ]
      This is one of the better poems i have read lately. I think the metaphore of the snake and a guy is brilliant. Guys are typically known as being snakes i my self have slithered in the grass before and you made the comparison orinal. I like how you used the zodiac, an animal, and a disease to describe someone who has brought you trouble. All the basics are great: meter, structure and flow, they all combind in harmanoy to make a wonderfull poem.
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by robertbwell | [ Reply to This ]
      cancerous boy of lies... i love this line it was a great way to end a very ulluring poem. I cant say i have ever pictured a man as a snake... plenty of women, but not men. either way I know the intention of men is sometimes to hurt you and then haunt you forever within your dreams. talk to you later, ella
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by stormyskye | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this poem described me perfectly the only thing i want to do to you is make you hurt.Im such a horrible person,but your no better you use me for your own personal gain and i let you.lol.You just wish you were a snake.[censored]
    | Posted on 2005-08-22 00:00:00 | by The Crow | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    70773

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Whispered written by endlessgame23
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry