Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: No Answerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 189
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 793
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1261



    Description:
       Again I am a lil pissed...bah...I just wanna talk to Cory man. I loves him.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNo Answerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    only four quarters
    this one call has to count
    this one chance to live
    she holds her breath and dials

    no answer

    with every ring her hopes drop
    and these tears are boiling over
    closer now to burning her skin
    she closes her eyes and she hangs up

    no answer

    standing there
    left with four quarters
    only one more way to go and if it doesn't work she's fucked
    she holds her breath and dials

    friendly vioce actually picks up

    " I need your help" she says
    " I need you to make a call"
    " I'm sorry I won't do it" he says
    but she knows he isn't sorry at all

    "Please just this once" she says
    desperation threating to heat her eyes
    "I'll do what I can" he says
    but even as he says it she knows that it's lie

    she sits by the phone
    so she can answer
    a call that won't be returned

    now she's left alone
    completely drained of hope
    empty now and so she cries
    beats herself up for wasting her time





    Submitted on 2005-08-16 13:26:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The feeling of letdown, as i know this feeling. The desperation of waiting for someone to pick up, that i need to desperately talk to, and nothing. and "that vaccums"
    | Posted on 2005-12-03 00:00:00 | by rAbit | [ Reply to This ]
      The desperation felt in this piece was expressed beautifully. I almost felt as if I were standing in the rain watchin her. Nice write. Keep it up.
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by Dark Angel | [ Reply to This ]
      Thais made me wanna cry...I liked this poem a lot too...
    I really liked the stanza...
    'she sits by the phone
    so she can answer
    a call that won't be returned'

    It's...meaningful...ya know?
    I am sorry about you and Justin...and me and Justin...and Justin in general I suppose...
    I liked this poem a lot...in this one I could feel the emotion as well...
    Very good job my friend...

    ...jessie...
    | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by jessie thomas | [ Reply to This ]
      once again another good one. This one seems more free and i like how you used the third person to describe your self. An i can relate to the part about calling and not getting an answer. It gives you a sick feeling in you stomache and makes you feel helpless. i hope things go well.
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by robertbwell | [ Reply to This ]
      this is an incredibly emotionaly draing poem... in a good way though. desperation and sorrow is drenched in your words. by the way i love kurt i miss his music Ssooo much. they found his body on my birthday. my birthday has been bittersweet ever since. anyway, good write. talk to you later, ella
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by stormyskye | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    70775

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Incubus written by monad
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    This written by Chelebel
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry