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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A World I Have Never Seendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Imaginth
    Elite Ratio:    5.18 - 43/50/19
    Words: 492
    Class/Type: Story/Love
    Total Views: 1155
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2639



    Description:
       Hey this is my first prose so what do you think? honest opinions please.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA World I Have Never Seendots
    -------------------------------------------


    A petal dropped from the rose, past the thorns that pierce the skin and break through the very heart of my agony. I know that in time all wounds heal, but with no one here to heal my wounds, how am I to survive? Let alone help someone else in need? But when the rose's petal drops to the ground the rest of the petals will be assurring that more are yet to fall. With each petal that falls there is a great event and for every thorn there come tragedy.

    After the thorn pierced my skin it went deeper and farther into my lost and confused heart. No hope of pulling it out from this excrutiating pain. It starts to feed off of my unprotected heart, like a leech sucking the very soul right out of me. It grows inside for the longest time, with no one to heal the wounds it caused. But, with each passing moment the pain increases, not by much, but enough to cry.

    Then after so long of being pinned inside myself the petal finally falls. Much pain came from my heart as the leech inside of me is pulled out. Torn from the very home it created inside of me. The pain as bad as if the leech was still inside of my soul. My mind grows weary and sleeps for some time. When I awake I see a dim light in which a mysterious face warmly welcomes me back to reality.

    The thorn that once pierced my skin was finally out, but in the process my body and soul were left weak enough to die. Deep wounds penetrated from the inside-out. Feeling the burn and relief of medicine slowly healing me to a life I once had. But, those who created my wounds didn't realize something. If someone can create those wounds, someone else can surely heal them. The face grew clearer and brighter as my vision began to come back in full repair.

    The rose was no longer covered in thorns, but instead was full of life and colors unimaginable. Its beauty was great, but my weary eyes could only awaken to the brilliance and stare in awe. Its beauty grew larger when I smiled. Seeing the one who saved me from my almost inevitable fate raised my hopes to new heights, thinking I can recover from the tragedy that befell me. His face gleamed and flawless smile embraced me.

    The rose was bright and beautiful just like the one who healed me. He started to speak but I could not understand him, his words were of different tongues. My ears filled with a sudden knowledge of this language, something I do not remember ever learning. I understood everything he said, his words were as graceful as his inner beauty that shone before me as I stood on my own two feet again, with him holding my hand.




    Submitted on 2005-08-16 15:12:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It is long, and that is most often a good sign(I like the Avatar btw). Let me attempt to interpret I find this poem extremely.(personally I like story poetry with many different meanings, this is a long one with meaning) It would appear that for the petal(a love?) to fall from the rose(the world/life?) and to pierce your skin and dive straight down to unprotected heart. It would have to be located accross your chest like a corpse laid out in a casket that holds the rose representing its life and memory. Every petal is therefore a memory of life, for good or ill. But with the petal(love) comes the baggage of the imperfect soul(the thorn) it eats and eats at the person in the casket(sleeping beauty is an other interpertation). Until the thorn is all the beauty or the soul of the dead can see. But then salvation arrives, the prince, the soul mate. They take away the sorrow and the pain of the now forgotten love and teach our beauty the language of the connect she will have with this celestial being, the second petal from the perfect rose, the next chapter in her lifes memory. That is to assume a bouquet(spelling?) lies upon her. The first picked(in order from birth to death) are the first to fall as she reviews her life before she leaves this world forever.

    Was I anywhere close? It is a nice poem and it does sound like a chapter of a life, a transformation. I liked it in fact I am going to put it on my favorites:) Thanks for posting.
    | Posted on 2005-12-11 00:00:00 | by Aruemos | [ Reply to This ]
      *applause* very nice..very nice. Quite touching, it was. Depression and rejoice..hmmm...yup..no supprise from you, hun ^.~ im somewhat in a bit of awe, but i should kinda know you well enough to expect (sp?) such deep work from you...go figure..shows my stupidity =P
    | Posted on 2005-12-07 00:00:00 | by Archerion | [ Reply to This ]
      First off, I love roses. So I loved the referance to it. My friend wrote something a bit similar. I liked the end with the guy and the other language. A bit of fantasy always adds to things. It has a deeper meaning to it and those are my favorite types of writing. One thing I did not understand was the leech at the beginning. That was a bit vauge because it didnt seem to do with the point of the story. Really though, it was very good in my opinion.
    | Posted on 2005-08-21 00:00:00 | by Arianna | [ Reply to This ]


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