My return to writing... after several months. Always trust in your natural talents, the ones you will never lose, because you can always trust they will be there.
I encourage people who enjoy this piece to review some of my older pieces posted on this site.
| Yeah, there's not too much wrong with it, I've noticed that you're fond of rhyming couplets...they're very hard to get away with without sounding forced, like "the opposite of crappy" that is almost funny, and out of sync with the mood of the piece.|
Try writing in a ABCB form for a change, you can concentrate more on the rhythm than the rhyme.
I also didn't see why you changed the format to an octet that didn't rhyme? If this was lyrics, it could be a bridge, but it really doesn't fit here.
I'll read more, but I won't lie to you, after all, you asked for it...lol
|| Posted on 2005-08-17 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ] || BRAVO! i must say after reading this piece i felt quite inspired . . .besides for the rhyme that went a bit lop sised i love it...u r seriuosly lucky 2have found some one that lifts ur spirits like this|
Keep spreading the love
|| Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by AfricanPrincess | [ Reply to This ] |