U may not think its good...but it gets the point across and when something is from experience...the reader can ALWAYS feel it. Its not pretend and you can feel sympathetic or even empathetic at times. Its good I think.
o how sad for u! but y is this poem called writers block! the emotion is there i can see it! it doesnt suck! and dont say that about ur poems even though i do it may jinx it! anyway good joB ~akaila evonne~
Quatrains, bueno! Well anyway, an emotional state is always quintessential for the voluptuous content for poetry, although your poem could be such if...you change the title. anyway, much luck and success in the future love Y.W.
I think I understand why you chose such a title. After all, you are writing as if you are telling a story. It's nice and it left me wondering where do things go from here. I'm one who trusts that things tend to work out eventually. So, cheer up & all the best.
Awww Melissa boy do I understand this piece. And I REALLY liked this one. Def. one of my favourites of yours, by far. This caught my eye and your rhyming and word choice was perfect, so kudos to you.
There was ONE stanza that I think really threw off your piece though, and that was the third stanza. The two "felts" follwoing each other consecutively in rhyme pattern just kinda, "ehhed" the piece, if you know what I mean? Maybe changing it to:
"The girl had confessed What she had felt and the boy was stressed With the cards he'd been dealt"
But thats not the great a rhyme either. I dunno, its your piece and your call. And I'm not that great with rhyming either, so maybe the two felts do really work.
Overall though, I REALLY did like this piece. You made the rhymes work so well, really:O) I'm sorry I cant give you a better comment. You know I have trouble commenting on you because I never really havea nything abd to say!
Submission Name: Writer's Block
