[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: WEEKI WACHEEdots

    Author: layDsayD
    ASL Info:    29/f/florida
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 264/243/147
    Words: 61
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 729
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 378

       weeki wachie is a small part of the town in wich i live and was born in here in florida there are so many tourists but most people here are retired and it brings a funny sort of saddness to all this bueaty i drove past a beach funeral andthere was a young woman t here she stood out cause down here its rare when soemone young dies so i wrote this her yeah go hope you liek

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWEEKI WACHEEdots

    White washed.
    Wearing Sundays best .
    Wind blows from the gulf.
    Its easy to see why everyone comes here to die.
    Her sadness is so beautiful, so real .
    A stray curls releases its self.
    Brushes softly on her cheek.
    Why does everyone bow there heads that way .
    Look up .
    Let the sun blind for a glorious moment.

    Submitted on 2005-08-16 22:25:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      well.....that was surely interesting.....and you know what.....I really enjoyed it....not only because it reminds me of the place I live, but it's short, sweet, and gets the point across...you never say it.....but depression echos throughout almost every word, every line of the poem and that's the way it should be.....not to mention my liking short semi-choppy sentences. after the sentence

    "It's easy to see why everyone comes here to die"

    ending the sentences with periods was a good idea.....unless you didnt do it for that reason.....but I never just look at the words, I view the poem inself.....(probably why I'm so fond of ee cummings)....your poem is visually pleasing
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by reveries | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a very original and creative piece. It was absolutely beautiful. You did a great job turning a sad situation into that of beauty and peace. Very well done! I really enjoyed reading this poem. Excellent!
    | Posted on 2005-08-17 00:00:00 | by Geraldine | [ Reply to This ]
      powerful to say the least. after reading the description and then the poem you can really see this woman, this funeral. sad really. and the fact that you decided to point out her curls makes it even more real. dont ask me why it just does lol. i enjoyed it. nice work.
    | Posted on 2005-08-22 00:00:00 | by Butterfly Bullets | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by Chelebel
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    ME written by jjd
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]