[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: WEEKI WACHEEdots

    Author: layDsayD
    ASL Info:    29/f/florida
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 264/243/147
    Words: 61
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 719
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 378

       weeki wachie is a small part of the town in wich i live and was born in here in florida there are so many tourists but most people here are retired and it brings a funny sort of saddness to all this bueaty i drove past a beach funeral andthere was a young woman t here she stood out cause down here its rare when soemone young dies so i wrote this her yeah go hope you liek

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWEEKI WACHEEdots

    White washed.
    Wearing Sundays best .
    Wind blows from the gulf.
    Its easy to see why everyone comes here to die.
    Her sadness is so beautiful, so real .
    A stray curls releases its self.
    Brushes softly on her cheek.
    Why does everyone bow there heads that way .
    Look up .
    Let the sun blind for a glorious moment.

    Submitted on 2005-08-16 22:25:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      well.....that was surely interesting.....and you know what.....I really enjoyed it....not only because it reminds me of the place I live, but it's short, sweet, and gets the point across...you never say it.....but depression echos throughout almost every word, every line of the poem and that's the way it should be.....not to mention my liking short semi-choppy sentences. after the sentence

    "It's easy to see why everyone comes here to die"

    ending the sentences with periods was a good idea.....unless you didnt do it for that reason.....but I never just look at the words, I view the poem inself.....(probably why I'm so fond of ee cummings)....your poem is visually pleasing
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by reveries | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a very original and creative piece. It was absolutely beautiful. You did a great job turning a sad situation into that of beauty and peace. Very well done! I really enjoyed reading this poem. Excellent!
    | Posted on 2005-08-17 00:00:00 | by Geraldine | [ Reply to This ]
      powerful to say the least. after reading the description and then the poem you can really see this woman, this funeral. sad really. and the fact that you decided to point out her curls makes it even more real. dont ask me why it just does lol. i enjoyed it. nice work.
    | Posted on 2005-08-22 00:00:00 | by Butterfly Bullets | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    This written by Chelebel
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    To written by SavedDragon
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Giving written by jjd
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Bond written by saartha
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Linger written by saartha
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Push written by JanePlane




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]