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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: WEEKI WACHEEdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: layDsayD
    ASL Info:    29/f/florida
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 264/243/147
    Words: 61
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 729
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 378



    Description:
       weeki wachie is a small part of the town in wich i live and was born in here in florida there are so many tourists but most people here are retired and it brings a funny sort of saddness to all this bueaty i drove past a beach funeral andthere was a young woman t here she stood out cause down here its rare when soemone young dies so i wrote this her yeah go hope you liek


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    dotsWEEKI WACHEEdots
    -------------------------------------------



    White washed.
    Wearing Sundays best .
    Wind blows from the gulf.
    Its easy to see why everyone comes here to die.
    Her sadness is so beautiful, so real .
    A stray curls releases its self.
    Brushes softly on her cheek.
    Why does everyone bow there heads that way .
    Look up .
    Let the sun blind for a glorious moment.




    Submitted on 2005-08-16 22:25:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      well.....that was surely interesting.....and you know what.....I really enjoyed it....not only because it reminds me of the place I live, but it's short, sweet, and gets the point across...you never say it.....but depression echos throughout almost every word, every line of the poem and that's the way it should be.....not to mention my liking short semi-choppy sentences. after the sentence

    "It's easy to see why everyone comes here to die"

    ending the sentences with periods was a good idea.....unless you didnt do it for that reason.....but I never just look at the words, I view the poem inself.....(probably why I'm so fond of ee cummings)....your poem is visually pleasing
    | Posted on 2005-08-16 00:00:00 | by reveries | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a very original and creative piece. It was absolutely beautiful. You did a great job turning a sad situation into that of beauty and peace. Very well done! I really enjoyed reading this poem. Excellent!
    Alissa
    | Posted on 2005-08-17 00:00:00 | by Geraldine | [ Reply to This ]
      powerful to say the least. after reading the description and then the poem you can really see this woman, this funeral. sad really. and the fact that you decided to point out her curls makes it even more real. dont ask me why it just does lol. i enjoyed it. nice work.
    | Posted on 2005-08-22 00:00:00 | by Butterfly Bullets | [ Reply to This ]


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