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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Mountain In the Distancedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Geraldine
    ASL Info:    25
    Elite Ratio:    3.2 - 241/296/80
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 525
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 836



    Description:
       an analagy...it's a little choppy...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Mountain In the Distancedots
    -------------------------------------------


    A mountain in the distance,
    a beautiful sight of nature,
    in the sun's light,
    stands ever so strong,
    so tall it's peak disappears behind the couds.

    From afar the image is perfect,
    the edges seem so smooth,
    almost soft to the touch,
    unaffected by the extremities of nature,
    untouched by time.

    Close up,
    though,
    you'll see,
    years of erosion,
    scars from the abuse it's endured,
    sharp edges,
    gaps and holes,
    stains from so many trechorous storms.

    Although even the strongest mountain
    has been tainted by earth's frequent blows,
    it will continue to stand,
    ever so strong,
    still the same beautiful
    Mountain in the distance...




    Submitted on 2005-08-17 08:17:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love this! and i really liked the metaphor you use...i feel as though i am one of those mountains that looks unaffected and i can really relate to it...i have very few suggestions...but perhaps you could look at your punctuation ...you dont need all those commas :)
    | Posted on 2005-08-17 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      Very nice. your metaphor was indeed good and I could picture your mountain in my mind as I was reading this. Watch your punctuation !
    | Posted on 2005-08-17 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]


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