mmm to me i think this was a little too short. i think there was so much more you could say in this. but otherwise this wasnt too bad. but like frank said backyards are a good place to sit and daydream, think , fantasize, etc. esp if you're laying out in the sun its fun that way too. lol well anyways thats it for now..
This was a little too short. I think it could have been alot better if you had a more vivid description of the daydream and maybe the lover. More detail would have been a nice contribution to the poem, if it was longer. As its self, other than the shortness it was very good. I really liked your description and I hope to see a longer version of this in the future! Keep writing!
I liked it, very neat, tight, and short. Good Job! Good Imagery...but maybe it could use a little more... perhaps tell us more about the person.. lata (hey, you should try reading some of my stuff) The Conqueror
I think the length is perfect. It is alluring and mysterious. I like title 'Night Fall' but what i like more is the irony of the ending...that it is a daydream. Why do people equate shortness with error? As if a short poem has no merits?