Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tear-Stained Letterdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dreamweaver
    ASL Info:    28/f/WI
    Elite Ratio:    7.22 - 1022/443/42
    Words: 212
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1179
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 953



    Description:
       This was written 4 years ago, when a friend of mine passed away in a car accident. He had dated one of my other friends in high school-he was her first love and he was a boy that wanted to be wild and free.
    A few months before he died, he sat down and wrote a letter explaining to her how he really felt about her, that he never intended for her to read. Almost like a journal entry. It was delivered to her the day of his funeral in a box of everything she had given him when they were dating in high school.
    She burned everything but that letter, it was her way of saying goodbye...this is what I wrote.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTear-Stained Letterdots
    -------------------------------------------


    A tear-stained letter is all that's left
    of a love gone by.
    Confessions never meant to be read
    safely stored in a box of memories.
    He held the key to her heart
    which now lies shattered in the remnants
    of that box.
    A man trapped within the boy-
    nurturing feelings he could never openly
    express.
    Comfortably hiding behind a pen-
    pouring out emotions he had just begun to
    understand.
    Words never meant to be read,
    never meant to be known.
    In a tragic twist of fate,
    everything felt in his heart was all but gone.
    At the water's edge
    she watches as the flames of a love never
    meant to be,
    Slowly dies-
    ashes carrying on the wind.
    As the memories drift away,
    a tear-stained letter is all that's left.




    Submitted on 2005-08-17 12:59:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I'm surprised that you were able to write something so beautiful of someone elses experience as if you felt it yourself. The part of boy trapped in a man makes me wish I knew this person just to see this beautiful inspiration in action.

    The way you described love in here was not very exact but who cares for I loved it through and through. The structure made it all the more soothing and it made it flow smoothly. How you took the experience to describe love that was one of the things that took me away.

    Really my mind was carried through different paths in this one. It made my eyes watery thinking of it and how me and I'm hoping poets in general can relate so clearly.

    Hiding behind a pen, writing a world of fantasies or nightmares. Of artificial wants or of truth. The pen becomes the mouthpiece of the soul. I find it so hard to explain how I feel. poetry I look at as an ultimate outlet.

    I fell in love with the is broken love piece. It's ironic almost. You're a true visionary of love to a dark soul! Keep writing and impressing those who love your work! :)

    Indelible_ink
    | Posted on 2005-09-17 00:00:00 | by Indelible_ink | [ Reply to This ]
      Altough this is very sad I feel you certainly did an excellent job writing it. Always sad and tragic when something like this happens.
    I think it is good that the letter was delivered to her so she would actually know his true feelings even if after his death.
    !Doc`
    | Posted on 2005-08-31 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      Very sad huh? I suppose the letter is somewhat like her memories - tear stained. He sounds sounds like he was a thoughtful and sensitive young man. It's a pity he passed away. Very nicely written and thanks!
    Bill
    | Posted on 2005-08-17 00:00:00 | by rankamateur | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi Candi, Thank you for the description. It helped to appreciate the piece more. If the letter expressed loving feelings for her, which is my read of it. I can only imagine the mixed feeling she must experienced.

    Hearing the words and feelings he could never express though words she longed to hear and then only hear all this upon his death. Having him in a deeper way and losing him at the same time.

    Truly an ironic and tragic twist of fate.

    This must have also been a difficult loss for you. He sounds charming and perhaps in his unbridledness charismatic.

    Lovely write!

    Steve
    | Posted on 2005-08-17 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
      A man trapped within the boy-
    nurturing feelings he could never openly
    express.
    Comfortably hiding behind a pen-
    pouring out emotions he had just begun to
    understand.

    i know that feeling oh to well.. i enjoyed the theme of a tear stained letter its a shame that things of this horrid nature is actually true.. but god write
    | Posted on 2005-08-17 00:00:00 | by solemnpen | [ Reply to This ]
      Candi that is very moving. i agree with a previous post these lines i feel so deeply "A man trapped within the boy-nurturing feelings he could never openly express. Comfortably hiding behind a pen-pouring out emotions he had just begun to understand." that hits me very hard strikes deep as well and hurts to read that heck the entire work. also i love the lines "He held the key to her heart which now lies shattered in the remnants of that box." the story as a whole is heartbreaking. wonderful job expressing this and continue to write always Candi,
    mike
    | Posted on 2005-08-17 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      Awwwww...how sad. Hopefully the tears didnt wash away the words on the letter. What a tragic story you have given us.

    Almost too sad to comment on and hope your friend does well. Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      Candi, this is so tragic and so sad! You have done a wonderful job writing this and I have to assume that this wasn't an easy one for you to write! It is a shame that some people have such difficulty expressing their true feelings to others while the opportunity exists! I guess maybe he didnt want her to know these feelings but I cant imagine why that would be. Anyway, the words you have chosen to write this are lovely! Very sad when anyone so young loses their life! So unfair! The description you provided here is very good too. It really brings out the significance of the poem! Very nicely done! Take care!

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      your description sheds a tragic light on the poem you have written... i cannot even imagine the pain she must feel at receiving this. it is a reminder for us to speak our feelings and our love in the moment, for we never know when our time is at hand..

    Comfortably hiding behind a pen..

    isn't that the way sometimes, we write our innermost feelings and neglect to share them with the one we love.. it is a tragedy.

    i know this must have been difficult for you to write, but i appreciate it, for it reminds me to express myself and let my feelings be known. life is too short to keep them hidden.

    peace&joy
    @ Cat
    | Posted on 2005-08-23 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      you have managed to get to the heart of the whole situation here and have highlighted the importance of communication between lovers in a very clear piece of writing. funny that this message needs to be continually reiterated when as adults we should all know by now how vital it is; one of the keys to the sanity, health and happiness of all in relationships of every kind. i have just returned home from a funeral myself today and your very poignant story has hit its mark rather accurately. nicely done. J
    | Posted on 2005-08-24 00:00:00 | by Alter idem | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    70906

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry