Final Resignation by I_Bleed

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Final Resignation dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	I_Bleed_Ink
Elite Ratio:	5.55 - 182/176/52
Words:	121

Class/Type:	Poetry/Longing
Total Views:	260
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	821

Description:
*sigh* just thinking back on what is was to be young and to believe the world went on forever... ageless in our own pitiful lives. Maybe a little more than that; selfish desires outweighing the clear and painful truth.

Thoughts, feelings, improvements? I want it all! ^_^

Final Resignation dots

-------------------------------------------

Promise me you’ll wait…
Not just in the darkened shadows
Of a timid heart
Or in the dusty corners
Of a hushed mind—
But in the needy grasp of my palm,
Grown over in death;
Cold without your thoughts.

Don’t leave me behind…
Time is all I need,
And still one thing we’ve got.
Eager feet pace to and fro,
Expectant of many adventures—
But what joy is to be found in a voyage
Caked in solitude;
Drenched with forlorn dreams?

Walk with me again…
In the sweet ‘used-to-be’ we knew,
When life greeted love
In tender happiness
And never did we think twice—
But what was will never be again,
Solidified in your silence;
Echoing throughout our existence.

Submitted on 2005-08-17 23:46:32 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  one split moment in time. this moment expells the thoughts i indeer. to fully understand the meaning of your work i would have to live inside your head but i think i got the what to do theme. perhaps the lady character is in in labour with the child of another man and this guy has to decide what to do, tyhe right thing or the thing that would be allright to do, [{(read my stuff)}]
| Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by Siriquelle | [ Reply to This ]
  This one sang to me. I guess I like things based on my own (albeit sad) understanding due to similar experience. I think it's a universal feeling to want things to wait and slow down, so you can't lose anything or let important things slip away, even though they are falling through your fingers faster than you can grasp it all. I really liked this one a lot. I will be reading this one often.
| Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by grey_girl | [ Reply to This ]
  yeah i do suppose4 we all lose our hopes and dreams we had fade and our ambition at least mine becomes a memory of what it used to be like.
solidified in your silence
Echoing throughout our existence.
[something doesn't work in this line I don't know if it is echoing or the word throughout or maybe it's the use of echoing throughout together-almost like a past tense present tense error or something ]anyway this made me feel well...not alone with the age thing rapidly moving on -more aches /pains/and less will to fix them--that;s getting old for sure. My final resignation
LT
| Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by LameMansTerms | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey,
Come on, the title was so beautiful. I actually fell in love with the title while i was looking at it.

I so totally understand what you are saying but how can such a wonderful title and an amazing description has such simple words and plain ideas. Not that i am complaining but that it needs some flavor to it.

It's a good poem. i enjoyed reading it, but it lacked some passion into it. you had something in mind but it was more like "Wait for me, if you don't, don't worry, i'll still get over it". You really needed to be passionate about this thing. State to this love of your "Wait for me!" Don't just write about it like it's any other thing that will pass as time goes by.

peace...Irina
| Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

70998

Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
[ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]