[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: SLAM!!!dots

    Author: xtremegentleman
    ASL Info:    22/m/FL
    Elite Ratio:    3.57 - 595/778/82
    Words: 293
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1563
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1961

       This is just art! Please don't take it literally. It's something I just typed--didn't write. Just typed it up real quick. Something that I may experiment with for the Slam tomorrow. Enjoy...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots SLAM!!!dots

    Standing on the stage
    Reciting enlightening words I penned on the page
    I start off soft then I go into a rage
    Of sick rhymes like the pen's afflicted with AIDS

    Words flaming from the spark, I call it an art
    Painting pictures with one color, I call it heart
    It's been said I'm the arrogant kind
    Making listeners uncomfortable with arrogant lines

    I wouldn't say that I'm ahead of you guys
    But I've got a sharp pen--I ain't scared of you guys
    Poking at your soul, spoken word, smokin' lyrics
    Hotter than a church when everybody catch the Spirit

    I can clown on this page and climb
    Grab the mic, then climb on this stage and shine
    In outter space I'd need space and time
    My ego's so big, I hardly have space to rhyme

    My words are soothing to the tongue like a water fountain
    My braggadocia is faith--it can move mountains
    I'm mounting my thoughts on paper and pen
    And when it's over I'm gon' leave with the paper again

    This is poetical probe--please don't call it rap
    Style contagious like a cold--you can call it "clap"
    See I can play and still capture the prize
    In the hood they call me rapture--I continually rise

    Close your eyes...you can still see what I'm saying
    They call it imagery...I tend to call it activation
    I leave the mouths in the shape of a ring
    And everybody's saying "Oooh" like Omarion sings

    Scare competition--I'm the black Stephen King
    Directing posers to the bottom like a misconscrewed scene
    It's more than words what you see on your screen
    Lyrical jabs float off the tongue like Ali and they sting

    Submitted on 2005-08-18 14:05:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      '''Poking at your soul, spoken word, smokin' lyrics
    Hotter than a church when everybody catch the Spirit'''

    loved this one...yeah you got the punchlines man... i loved the content...ssssstyling!
    | Posted on 2005-12-16 00:00:00 | by orpheus | [ Reply to This ]
      some would call u cocky, but i know that as an emcee u sometimes have to defend urself and show the haters that u are not to be [censored]ed with. man this [censored] was hot. keep spitting like this don't let nobody censor u or try to change ur style
    | Posted on 2005-11-16 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      careful with the guy, guy repetion.. but other than that, it is a great peice... if you make it to nyc, check out nuyorican poets cafe, openmikes on fridays and some sundays... ive seen some there before and after def poet stage on hbo...
    | Posted on 2005-10-13 00:00:00 | by mimi | [ Reply to This ]
      This was one heck of a piece of writing! I liked the fact that it wasn't directed at anyone and it flowed beautifully! You have a tremendous amount of self-confidence and I have to say that I really respect this piece of work! I do have to agree with the 2 lines that ended both with guys...it would maybe sound a little better to put something else there. It kinda stopped me in my tracks while I was reading through it. Otherwise, very nice!
    | Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      this was awsome. If this is something you just threw together than you got some serious talent with flowing man. I can't find a single thing to critique because i like it all. The ryme sceme is really clever and not played out. God job!!!!
    | Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by robertbwell | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this! It wasn't aimed at anyone. You were just spitting. Do what you do boy! Do your thug thizzle! I ain't hatin! You gave a lot of hitters here. Used a lot of lines. That's tight.

    Do what you do. Don't be intimidated by what others think if all you are doing is spitting art. It's the one's that are lashing out at people that bother others.

    Good job babes!

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      Brilliant, esp. if it was just "thrown" together! I think that you have talent.. A few of your metaphores made me giggle.. Like, I would have never thought of things to say like that.. I could see you going far with your writings!

    Keep it up!

    | Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by Blindly-N-Love | [ Reply to This ]
      Heh, heh, heh...this was smooth. Self confidence you surely do ooze. And this write was mighty tight...hope it serves you well tomorrow night. With these words you will rage on the stage...and send the contenders into a cage. Blast them down before they blast you...nuttin' to it if you just speak the things you do.

    Hotter than a church when everybody catch the Spirit

    Should catch be catches? Or maybe even caught the spirit would work.

    Good rhyming X. Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      Eh, cool! I don't think that I've ever read anything like that before. That's probably what rappers do. I'm only repeating myself but, you have talent. You really do. If I were you I'd take your talent and run, what you are apparently doing. For a slapped together peice it has the feeling of a thought out procrastinating person's. Live life and best of luck at the Slam.

    | Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by AshNight | [ Reply to This ]
      Use gear like this at your Slam and it's hard to beat!

    You are the king of this stuff around here, Brian, but for the first time ever, I have a suggestion!!!

    "I wouldn't say that I'm ahead of you guys
    But I've got a sharp pen--I ain't scared of you guys"

    How 'bout I ain't scared of your lies?

    A tiny thing, I'm glad to finally find somethin'

    Be Happy and go for it

    | Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked this piece man.. it shows people on here, that rap can be wrote without insulting somebody or something..

    you had some mad rhyme here and you had some nice lines.. it was intelluctual and showed your true sense of mind.. good job man
    | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by dylanpoe | [ Reply to This ]
      That was tight x yo man it looks like another fav for me and by the way can i call u x man its a cool name but this was tight i would copy the parts i like put then i would copy too much great write

    heavy knowledge
    | Posted on 2005-08-21 00:00:00 | by heavy knowledge | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]