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    dots Submission Name: Why Not Agreedots

    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Poetry/I am dead inside
    Total Views: 678
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 833

       i wrote this once when i was really angry and going just a bit crazy!! i hope you alll like it!!!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhy Not Agreedots

    so lost
    can't breathe
    can't be
    set free
    help me
    i'm gone
    so dark
    so long
    and scared
    who cares?
    can't leave
    must walk
    just walls
    must talk
    mice played
    cats dozed
    ten times
    they lied
    more times
    i cried
    hearts hear
    but can't
    wipe tears
    it's my
    last hours
    no time
    to live
    to give
    is nice
    we've played
    it twice
    must kill
    must play
    must leave
    i'm lost
    can't see
    why not

    Submitted on 2005-08-18 15:55:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wow...the words are just so power full u didnt even need detail what a great choice of words..i often have those thoughts through my head only maybe a little more mellow and less emotionfull...but that really helped it over all i like it alot

    | Posted on 2006-03-05 00:00:00 | by goomaster03 | [ Reply to This ]
      Very novel and VERY good. You used a lot of imagination and it all flowed really well. It is surprising sometimes how short verses can carry much meaning as this did.
    | Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      The flow was excellent, but its a tad confusing in some spots. Its very creative, and unique.. The only thing I dont like is that theres no real story. It doesnt really tell anything.
    | Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by EEKS | [ Reply to This ]
      i agreee youre talent is apperent and for the most part this was really good.
    jumped track once or twice but hell,i always go from left to right field.
    i lose alot of people.
    format and ryme never matter to me even though this did both nice,its not important for me to like.
    and i liked this very much.
    "no time to live and touture to give".
    this caught my eye lol
    you are talented

    | Posted on 2005-08-22 00:00:00 | by toyysruss | [ Reply to This ]

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