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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Where The Cowboys Aredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Eah
    ASL Info:    20/F/KY
    Elite Ratio:    3.56 - 74/81/22
    Words: 219
    Class/Type: Poetry/What you did
    Total Views: 169
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1245



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhere The Cowboys Aredots
    -------------------------------------------


    You berate me with you continual existance
    thought it's obvious that I can not comply.
    I daresay you wish this absue upon yourself,
    but no, that would be to simple.
    For I fear you honestly see not what you do.

    Your words invade my demeaner.
    They rip my soul apart from the core.
    For you to say that I betrayed you is wrong,
    the abandoned promises were agreed upon.
    When wind began to change
    and we both lost the sail,
    we silently seal a deal.

    You and all your stupid feeling,
    I wish I could tell you where to put those feeling
    and your stupid emo sad pictures
    and pathetic faux hawk hair.
    I wish I could tell you to go straight to hell.
    That's where all the other cowboys are afterall.
    Despite all of this,
    why is it that when I see all your pathetic ramblings on
    about how much you cared
    and how much you lost
    all I can do is think "Psht!"

    I no longer know what to say to you,
    I no longer know who you are.
    I see your face, the same face,
    but it's lost all it's kindness towards anything.




    Submitted on 2005-08-18 16:04:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very good..I like how the rhythm turned out..i dont know how it is with other people but when i started reading this, after the first line..i basically kept reading faster and faster..i dont really picture this as something that you have to read slowly..because if you do it almost seems like you would get confused..so i think the best way to read it is just all at once at a rapid pace. The emotional level was good it sounds like you put a lot into this, you didnt seem to dwell too much on a single line..which is good..you creativity was excellent..each line kept getting better and better..its about the right length as well..so great write..and i look forward to seeing some of your other work.
    | Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by norm | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked the opening line...it set the tone and you could just tell what was to follow.

    we silently seal a deal

    Sealed the deal? *shrugs*

    Yeah, I could definately feel a relationship that lost all communication and the anguish of that left both parties in denial. Have a good one and keep smilin'
    | Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought the rhythm was a little off but the message was pretty clear. Communication is an important ingredient in a relationship and without it the relationship will definately fizzle out. Good message and even though the rhyming was a little off I still liked the delivary. Nice job.
    | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]



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