Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lasting Emotiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: WandWielder
    ASL Info:    21-f-maryland
    Elite Ratio:    4.42 - 55/62/16
    Words: 66
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 621
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 404



    Description:
       i wrote this 8 years ago when i was 14. And it happens to be one of those poems that just stuck in my head through the years. So i thought i would share it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLasting Emotiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    A first intake of air,
    Confusing surroundings and a smile of beauty so fair.
    It calms thee to quiet everlasting sleep,

    In life the confusion lasts and lasts,
    From first step to last,
    From first sound to last sigh,
    From first dream to last cry.

    Life is confusing beyond compare,
    Consuming up your life with confusions despair.




    Submitted on 2005-08-18 17:34:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hay this poem really echoes the thoughts of someone that age, just becoming aware of the whole world and, for me, being constantly overwhelmed by the battles that go on between people at even the best of times, and untill these skills are learned it's like standing and shoughting with no breath,
    | Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by Siriquelle | [ Reply to This ]
      A young person's outlook on life and it's confusion. For someone of 14, this is very well written. It expresses real emotions, effectively.
    It is short, but also complete in its intent. A nice beginning, to life and this poem, which carries us to the ending (death) along a path of confusion. A good post!

    Phil
    | Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]
      at age fourteen you wrote something like this and your a female...sorry not to sterotype or anything like that, but most fourteen year olds that ive known run around all giddy flashing thier eyelashes to the males...a premantus calling her cry for her mate-sorry. at age fourteen i was in eigth-ninth grade worrying about what i should write for english or when the next science test was so i could study. i was the true definition of a geek or nerd-whichever is the least worst. i was sheltered and a book worm plus a hermit-didnt like to go anywhere...bad combo really, by heart i am a loud clown goofing off, but the years of being sheltered left me hiding behind a shy girl. dont know if that makes sense.

    anyways to your poem. i definitely hear you about confusion, i am all there being overtaken by it. but then again, confusion has its advantage...your poem for instance. good write for a fourteen year old.

    later days
    tracey
    | Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by fiery_eyes | [ Reply to This ]
      Man, I think that life always has and always will be confusing, no matter what we try to do. There's nothing we can change about that. I know that right now mines' really confusing, and I can't picture writting something like this at age 14. Not that it isn't plausable, I just can't see myself writing something like this now, and I'm 18. I like that it's really short, and you say everything as simply as you possibly can; and in that kind of honesty that only the real young people ever have anymore. This was an awesome post, and I hope that you never loose touch of what's really important in the mask of confussion.

    ~Jessica
    | Posted on 2005-08-18 00:00:00 | by shmuzzelle | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    71099

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry