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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: War Gamesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    58/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2779/1297/258
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 654
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 824



    Description:
       This was a response to some poorly written clichés I was subjected to during the screening of a B-movie(C-movie?). I filtered my disdain for the dialogue through the framework of antiwar propaganda when the 'secret weapon' inevitably looked like a stainless steel penis. After that, it simply developed into a true anti war piece, but not an anti military one. Despite the fact I question our endless involvement in a resentful world arena, I support the men and women who've chosen to make the ultimate sacrifice for an often unthankful, media obsessed nation.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWar Gamesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Of course it is
    much more than
    a weapon, much
    more than a
    cleverly disguised
    phallic symbol
    channeling the
    inert energies
    of robotized armed
    forces. It is the
    inane god of castrated
    intellect and flaccid
    fact, overwhelmed by
    its own greatness,
    overcome by its fear
    of beauty; slender
    pleasures unrealized.

    Tell me, when the plot
    was written, scribbled
    in blood before hungry
    eyes manipulating the
    tiny fleshbound pieces
    of the chessboard;
    was any of this misbegotten
    energy a grim surprise?
    Did beauty rise on the current
    of an unfamiliar dawn? Did
    you have a good life, when
    you died? Enough to base
    a movie on?




    Submitted on 2005-08-19 00:38:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The oximoron title happens to ring true throughout. I disagree in the fact I support the US acting as a world police, based on several moral assertions, but I respect your opinion, and the fact you don't defame our fallen heros to get your point across. Odd I should post this in response to your feedback on "Regret for the Red"
    Tekin Kashami
    | Posted on 2005-10-20 00:00:00 | by Tekin_Kashami | [ Reply to This ]
      Instinctively I like this. It resonates before I can really understand it all. i will have to read it a couple more times, which is a good thing. I especially like "enough to base a movie on" It catches a 'removedness' or a theatrical staged type of patriotism. with the caveat YOU made re: actual brave soldiers-the warrior has no clothes!
    | Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by CleoCollier | [ Reply to This ]
      This had an ironic twist in the imagery in the wordplay and a sarcastic rebuke fit to snub in short order. I enjoyed the parry and thrust of the poem. Well done!
    | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      hello friend, thank you for your comment on "road rage." you recieved my imagery well, because i had in mind a family road trip minus the love when i wrote it. now i will return the favor.

    very very powerful piece. i am sure it definitely marks its purpose. i love powerful pieces. this one makes me want to get up and hit something. i usually dont like questioning excessively, but it works well here considering they are almost ironic. perfect flow, imagery-there';s nothing more i can say. you know better what you write, so i am sure you can edit on your own. thanks again!
    | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by NoMoreGoodbyes | [ Reply to This ]
      woah...i really enjoyes this piece...especially the phallic imagery becuz so much of pointless war and destruction is really just a display of hegemonic masculinity, its ridiculous. this flows very nicely, and the sarcasm of the last line is a zingah! ;) take care and keep going, cait
    | Posted on 2005-08-20 00:00:00 | by PhotoNegative | [ Reply to This ]
      It takes a strong character to write a piece with this much passion and emotion. you totally got me with it. i really liked the second stanza, I think it stood out more than the other one just because it probed more at the human conscience. It gave me great pleasure to read this piece so thank you for that.

    Kuddos
    - Jermaine
    | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]


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