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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Real Lovedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lmz
    ASL Info:    40/female/USA
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 3433/1529/84
    Words: 87
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 2528
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 683



    Description:
       This is how it should be!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsReal Lovedots
    -------------------------------------------


    A love that burns
    Hotter than fire
    Craving each moment
    Such passionate desire

    Thoughts constantly dancing
    Consuming the mind
    Wanting more always
    Till the end of time

    Feelings so intense
    Unable to resist
    The gentlest touch
    The softest kiss

    A hug so warm
    Safe and secure
    A bond growing stronger
    Through everything endured

    Honesty without question
    Respectful and true
    A face full of smiles
    Never left blue

    Happiness every day
    Strive for the best
    Real love exists
    Never settle for less




    Submitted on 2005-08-19 08:45:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      you couldnt have put it any better.
    this was wonderful, brought me to tears just thinking how i should bee able to find that love and not settel, like ive dont befor. well nice job i loved it.

    tayla aka sickofhurting u
    | Posted on 2009-01-13 00:00:00 | by SickOfHurting U | [ Reply to This ]
      Indeed this is love ought to be. You did a very, very good job writing this. Your flow, rhyme and rhythm were very good and I simply loved your use of imagery.

    Love is one of the greatest things on this earth that we can experience, especially if that love is true blue love. But sadly not everyone gets to experience such a love or love at all. But nevertheless your piece reminded me that there is still hope out there.

    Keep up the great work and have a blessed and wonderful day.

    | Posted on 2006-04-08 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
      This one is simply beautiful and very well written, Your words have captured true love and you have expressed it so passionately in this piece, I do enjoy the style of your writing and this one the word just flow so well you are very talented indeed and I hope you will continue to write these kinds of poems because you do capture the essence of true love with this one. another Favorite of mine I will add this one to my favs.
    | Posted on 2006-06-08 00:00:00 | by LadyMustang | [ Reply to This ]
      i think you have really found what true love means. i am glad you have found your true love, but not all of us can. a really great write, just didnt flow as smooth as the last one of yours i read, sorry.
    | Posted on 2006-03-24 00:00:00 | by trent | [ Reply to This ]
      I have nothing negative to say about this work...
    it made me feel warm on the inside and made me want to fall in love with someone new...break their heart when the spark dwindles and fall in love with someone new..and so own and so forth..what I am trying to say is you captured that warm and bubbly lovely feeling perfectly

    Swanne
    | Posted on 2006-02-08 00:00:00 | by Swanne | [ Reply to This ]
      Lorna - I think you've captured the essence of true love. First, let me say, that I know it exists. Maggie and I have been together, now, 35 years, and you have written that relationship, here, in your poem: "Honesty", "respect", "a bond growing stronger", "'til the end of time." All these characteristics are necessary in a loving relationship, but it also must include the "gentle touch", "sotest kiss", "warm hugs", and that "desire" "that burns hotter than fire". So, I think you've hit the nail on the head with this one, gotten it just right, and expressed it well. What could I add to your poem, not much, I would just like to reiterate your last line, "Never settle for less."

    Phil
    | Posted on 2006-03-07 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a great write with some great ideas within the words, I am one of those that just don't see love like that being real, may it is and you truely have it in your life and if you do then never let it go because it's rare, I really enjoyed this piece, you have some wonderful talent there and you write very well.
    | Posted on 2006-01-21 00:00:00 | by LadyMustang | [ Reply to This ]
      Love, and exactly like it should be. But where did you find it? and is there more like it? I have searched 54 countries now, but it's not to be found. Not mutual love anyway. Maybe America has a monopoly on love too :o)

    All I can say is, when i write poems about love like this, they're fake, and i think it shows. I've been with beautiful women...caring women...from many different countries...but i've never been in love. I hope one day it visits me, as it has surely been to you.

    I envy your poetry talent, and i envy your lovelife :o) well done.
    | Posted on 2005-12-23 00:00:00 | by Senna27NZ | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you hit on the two main ingredients in this poem that make for a good solid relationship, those being, honesty and respect. I have such a relationship with my Doris Jean and I hope it never changes.
    As always I enjoyed read'n your poem and I think you did a wonderful job writing it.
    !doc`
    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by dr_tigger | [ Reply to This ]
      Loved your poem, Lorna! Real love is not just passion and lust that lasts for awhile, then flickers and dies. Love will endure through hard and difficult times as well. Each line of your write complements the other lines. Very well and beautifully written!

    Smiles,,,Linda
    | Posted on 2005-11-29 00:00:00 | by AlabamaFarmGirl | [ Reply to This ]
      Your description of love was breathtakingly good and every line flowed into the other with no effort at all (the mark of a good poem).

    I think is the best (without a cup of tea poems) that I have read for a while. Really really good Lorna.
    | Posted on 2005-11-29 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      I would say this sums up true love except for the part about being happy all the time...and honesty without question. Nothing is perfect. You can't be honest all the time, you'd just hurt the other persons feeling's. I don't think anything in life can make us always happy. But I understand this is an expression of an ideal rather then reality.
    I can't remember if I asked you this already, but have you ever thought of writing poems for greeting cards? You have a real knack for expressing sentimental feelings and giving the reader warm fuzzies.
    | Posted on 2005-11-26 00:00:00 | by fo | [ Reply to This ]
      oh no never settle for less :).. I loved this with so much hope and desire to please and be please..

    simple wonderful :)

    great write!

    penny
    | Posted on 2005-11-25 00:00:00 | by pennymarie | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes, dear Lorna, you describe perfectly the beginning of one kind of love, usually for the opposite sex. I call infatuation, but this does not always go into the lasting love, where you find the everlasting love; two as one.
    The passion in the loving part called infatuation we always yearn for, but passion, being a real emotion, waxes and wanes. It is during this time that we find out if it is real and for an eternity or just "puppy love", or attraction. Real love we keep, and as a garden needs attention, and the removing of weeds, and pruning, we encourage growth.
    Yes, indeed, your description is a real love, just not necessarily the real love we look for; everlasting.
    Thank you for taking me back to the days of pure infatuation, with no outside distactions.
    Our memories are great and most of the time they are muses for our poems.
    Thank you for sharing this with me. My friend, may
    God bless you,
    Yvonne
    | Posted on 2005-11-17 00:00:00 | by dycrain | [ Reply to This ]
      amen to that! you definately have the definition down pat, now to just find the one to fit it! it's hard to find someone to fit all the criteria at first i think. i also think that you grow into some of these things here. i hope you just wanted related feelings with this poem and not helpful feedback, because i just dont think that there is anything here to fix. the poem is right on the button!~~tracy
    | Posted on 2005-11-14 00:00:00 | by tmullins | [ Reply to This ]
      Very moving and powerful

    Bravo!

    I really like this poem this my friend to me is one of your best

    I will look at this poem as much as I can every time I feel that I am alone or its just me against the world
    Great write
    Ron

    And thank you for your recent comments you wanna hear something funny You reminded me that I have not talked to my grandma in a while and I will definately do that today
    Thank You

    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-10-31 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      You never mentioned doing the DEED! And that is what makes this so great, LOVE needs not SEX, to survive it is the by product of love. That lesson many many young teens are never told when they are handed a supply of condoms from the health teacher.
    I truly hope that this type of love flourishes in your home where ever it is- You deserve it.
    If I had it in a big bottle to sell I'd ship you a case overnight/fedex/ups but never snail mail.
    So, tell me, what exactly inspired this write?
    Expierence or want? Expert of transitional optimistic?
    YOU better be smiling; that was not funny but just makes me feel better.
    Great to see your work, HAVE A GREAT DAY! later!
    | Posted on 2005-10-26 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]
      This would make a perfect sweetest day card for a recipiant who can appreciate a true work of art
    This makes the idea of love seem so promising, it may count the cavities of some, and wound the sores of others. With something this optimisitic and chirpy, it could go either way.
    You may have caught me at an awkward time, so its effect is indifferent to me...maybe a week ago it would have made me stick my finger down my throat.

    Either way, it conveys its emotion...and you know what that means to me...GOOOD work!

    But of you, that is to be expected

    -Ishoes
    | Posted on 2005-10-17 00:00:00 | by iShoes | [ Reply to This ]
      Awww this poem brought a tear to my eye from sweetness and feelings... I enjoyed reading this poem it made me feel in love and passion... a passion so big that even the smallest thing that a person might do it means everything to you... Thanks for this and keep writting
    | Posted on 2005-09-22 00:00:00 | by josymanthegreat | [ Reply to This ]
      I would always be happy if this happened to me. I always wish for this to happen but you know what it's like they say in that song you cant always get what you want. I think the rhyming was perfect and everything flowed nicely. Love is always a hard subject I think to describe in words. To me love is an action with a undescribable meaning. Nice poem. -james
    | Posted on 2005-09-07 00:00:00 | by musclebound350 | [ Reply to This ]
      if I had gotten that everyday, i would not be the way i am. i would be happy all the time.
    I liked this one , cause it shows and helps people understand what love suppose to mean and feel like. I hope people had read this and helped them out, to have a better look on their love ones.
    peace
    | Posted on 2005-09-03 00:00:00 | by dudethis | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW! That was great! You have truely captured Real Love here. You are so right that this is how it should be and "never settle for less". I am proud to say that I have the love you describe here. So many people don't and that is such a shame that everyone doesn't experience Real Love.
    GREAT write!
    DJ
    | Posted on 2005-08-31 00:00:00 | by Doris Jean | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmmm how moving, this is such a soothing piece. The kind you use as a mantra to indoctrinate oneself that real love does indeed exist...I loved the flow of your ideas..You articulated your thoughts with so much simplicity. There's a lovely harmony in all your verses. Each complements the other, more than anything I appreciated your ability to beautifully converse your thoughts...The flow is just...Lovely...A great write...Thank you for sharing!Nobantu
    | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by Nobantu | [ Reply to This ]
      This was another lovely piece Lorna!

    I have to agree with everything Nobantu said so well. This just danced along, with crisp lines, well chosen words and an easy natural rhyme. I kept saying throughout; "Yeah! Me too". At the same time wanting to be the kind of man you describe in the poem.

    Just Beautiful!!!

    Steve
    | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by SHRINKSDR | [ Reply to This ]
      This is very lovely! Real love, I'm sure that it's out there, but it's so easy to throw it on the shelf and pull it down, blowing off the dust, when it's convenient. This is a wonderful write and fantastic thoughts! This is EXACTLY how it should be. Love without questions or conditions, living life for not only yourself but someone else too. Very nice Lorna!
    Candi
    | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      some is loved up, Well what can i say, you write well and you said what you are feeling which is fab, but ifeel that there could have been more detail about what you really feel and what makes it so specail to you.

    apart from that i think this is a very good write.

    keep it up and congrates if you really are feeling like this, hold on to that.

    Bailey19
    | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by Bailey19 | [ Reply to This ]
      great poem. it flowed so smoothly, i started reading...got consumed...and then it was over. it could be a song it flowed so smoothly. and very true...thats what love should be like. you have a great talent for writing. you phrase each statment so beautifully. please keep writing...its inspiring.
    | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by Sweets | [ Reply to This ]
      Ugaboo! (That don't rilly mean nothing) Deffinitely how things should be, but you see it is also assuredly not how things are or will be. Not to discredit your poem, cause all that is possible, but it's usually our minds fooling ourselves. People in general seem to get intoxicated on love alot. I think thats the feeling your poem communicates to me. I dunno.

    Brent
    | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by Poor_Poet | [ Reply to This ]
      You are so right. This is how it should be. I really like this. Hoping one day i have a love like this. This seems so real. Do you have someone like this for you? if you do you are so lucky. I really love this and it is def. a fav. Another great job!!! :)

    Mikki
    x3
    | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by MiKkI25 | [ Reply to This ]
      AAaawwwww Lorna ,
    how truly beautiful , its funny i so want this in my life and when i read this its like you knew what i wanted and put it into words for me as only you could.
    true and pure perfection and straight in my favourites.
    take care
    Elaine x
    | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by lainie75 | [ Reply to This ]
      i agree wholeheartedly with the ideas and feelings presented. the line i love the most out of this is "A bond growing stronger Through everything endured" that is very true and most powerful. through anything, all the trials and tribulations in life together two people stand as one, beautifully said Lorna.
    mike
    | Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, I love this one. Except for a couple of spots where it felt like the rhythm was slighlty off, the words just flowed over my tongue so easily, and I like the rhyming as well. This is one of those poems that you cannot help but feel good or hopeful after reading.

    One suggestion, I would change "Wanting more always" to "Alwayys wanting more". It sounds more natural when it's sad that way, and since it's a non-rhyming line, changing the word order won't affect the rhyme scheme.

    Very nice.
    Kirk
    | Posted on 2005-08-20 00:00:00 | by timberwolf720 | [ Reply to This ]
      I truly love this poem! You spoke a mountain of truth in this. I feel the same way as well. I loved the imagery of this and the flow was great. This was like the definition of true love. Great job!
    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-08-21 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      I really can appreciate what you've written here. It would be a truly wonderous experience if this were indeed a fully possible love. It is unfortunate that I have become so jaded with my past relationships, and even watching other's relationships, dwindle, smolder and eventually die. I love the use of soft rhyme rather than forced ABAB. The piece does have a few minor flow obstacles, but these are easily overlooked in the grand scheme. I hope someday humanity has the capability to transcend the selfish, obsessive, and controllling nature of love and your vision can be the norm rather than the exception. Thank you for the read.

    Jay-
    | Posted on 2005-08-22 00:00:00 | by His Assholiness | [ Reply to This ]
      This is my husband and myself. Incredible.
    This piece is just lovely. In a world where real love is a rare commodity, it's nice to see that someone else believes. Very very nice work,
    Traci :)
    | Posted on 2005-08-22 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]
      It is so special to have someone you love and for it to be returned. I have to admit, the thoughts of my beloved consumed my days. She was the backdrop for every movement of my life even being 2000 miles away. And it's true there is nothing you want more than that hug and to sit with that soul that makes yours hum.

    Nice job, you express keen sentiments in few words.
    peace and love,
    Nan
    | Posted on 2005-08-23 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      And Real Love does exist, saved forever here in your remarkable poem! You have amazing talent, Lorna, and I really enjoyed this poem!
    | Posted on 2006-11-10 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]


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