This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password


Author: Katia
ASL Info:    23/F/Europe
Elite Ratio:    6.39 - 586 /529 /29
Words: 93
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 2603
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 709


not really at all about love...

but is about it in some way

i know what i see

but i want to know what you will


It is when two hands touch,
the world splits into halves.
And for a mere contraction
(nerve impulse of a muscle)
the two are joined by a third,
and we are neither
'here, today'
nor 'there, tomorrow'

we simply are

brought here by a
steady force
I hear the blood
ejecting from my heart;
You drop my hand and
tell me that its late,
Its gone past midnight

That's when I know
that hand left you behind…

and I let go

Submitted on 2005-08-19 10:14:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!



Oh... I so love your work.

This is mystical in its images and implications.

and we are neither
'here, today'
nor 'there, tomorrow'

we simply are

As Rumi wrote ... this is more than a metaphor.

Within this is the essence of love's true nature.

This touches and enlightens me at the deepest levels of my soul.

Thank you!

| Posted on 2005-11-24 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
  ok, after several reads over several weeks I am ready to tell you what I see. I see an hourglass which leads me to believe this poem is about the passing of time and how one day is related to the other but that each passes and starts anew. This is cleverly masked with a nice coating of what could be preceived as two lovers breaking it off, with midnight perhaps being the symbolic passing of one life to another, thus maybe one lover leaving the other through death? I close to what you were shooting for?

the only suggestion I have is that you make the two "its" "it's" in other words a contraction of it is. I've seen you do this before and I'm guessing this is because English is not your first language and such nuances are nuisances. Other than that, I really like to see you stretching but even still it has been a long time and would love to see where you're at right now, in your art and in your life. How goes it Cutia and why such a stranger?
| Posted on 2005-09-20 00:00:00 | by deadndreaming | [ Reply to This ]
  You might SAY it’s not about love, but it sure seems like it to me…

Nicely done here, original and fresh. I like the way this piece flows and the kind of mystical quality it has (that’s not the right word but I can’t think right now). Nothing I’d change. A fave!


| Posted on 2005-09-13 00:00:00 | by joeyalphabet | [ Reply to This ]
  I could have sworn I commented on this!

hmm must have been a journal entry I read.. well I'm glad you posted it, cos WOMAN, this is go-od!

what would I know, but hey I... know ;)

ok I see... the hourglass also. the urgency of time. the cheating of time.

and also...

It is when two hands touch,
the world splits into halves...

the two are joined by a third

simply beautiful... I see what you mean about it sort of being about love.. it's like the meeting of two people, it has a sense of urgency, in a split second the world is gone, time is gone, and

they..or this.. (what is being had) is all there is.

'they' (meandyou) existing in between the different lives, the different worlds, THE world.

and that ties in with the shape of your hour glass, the 1st and third stanzas separated by that middle one,

'we simply are'

its like that moment when a guy takes your hand, a guy you really like, and its the first time youve actually 'touched' him if you like :P, and its like for a moment nothing else exists...

and then as quickly as that moment of nothingness but (meandyou) arrives, it is gone.

the hands let go, blood ejects from the heart. the breath is let out. the halves come rushing back to join. and that third space(world) is gone as if it never were.

time is very very fleeting, despite being very very slow.

anyway my jelly-crap brain makes no sense Katia my dear, lol, but I really enjoyed this poem.
| Posted on 2005-09-10 00:00:00 | by pennyroyal tea | [ Reply to This ]
  I see words in the shape of an hourglass. I see that time has been on your mind lately...the journal entries and all.

I see words of action, excited and exhilarating...the thrill of new intimacies..."the sudden touch of fingertips supremely new on strange skin".

I see co-incidence and collision. It is in this juncture where substance succumbs to spirit...where we become something more than ourselves, and are made whole.

I hear the abrupt anguish of a resilient heart...strong enough to be vulnerable.

I see confusion, separation, and loss in the letting go.

I see in your poetry the art of possibility, however sullen at times...still beautifully stated.

I see the hands of the clock align...reaching for the sky...where the moon stares back.

mocking our solitary slumber
| Posted on 2005-09-01 00:00:00 | by twacky | [ Reply to This ]
  It was actually really interresting to read through the various ways that people enterpreted this piece. Simply skimming through it there was alot of deep thought that came out in reflection of this piece.

the use of contraction made my male brain think of sex.

brought here by a
steady force

and after this my surface association was definately set. I sort of got the association of a one night stand, or that 'taken by the moment' exctacy that someontimes sweeps you away.

I really enjoyed your clever imagry of the two halves joined by the third. .and the trinity was what i thought of straight away. Or rather I had the association of the world . .the one .. splitting in half but within a third hands grip . .or space to move around and explore eachother in.
I didn't direlty associate the third hand with God. But more towards a one moment experience of something godly. The sublime peaks that we reach in the heat of night when the only thing that exists is the two halves and the third eye ..that feeling of standing on the highest cliff, above all else, while at the same time seeing the vast and most overwhelming view of the horizon that makes you feel ultimately small . Something that can only exist with special settlements and sediments. When it arrives as sudden as the touch of a hand, the instant connection and gratification, it seems to leave as suddenly when the grip is lost. When the moment is over it is not that the third eye is tired and closes, or wants to go home because it is has to.. it is gone.

anyways .. that's what i got out of it ..
loved the poem .. thanks
| Posted on 2005-08-28 00:00:00 | by x-ianhoyskolt | [ Reply to This ]
  this is a nice piece but im a bit confused i understand the last part it being of love and maybe sorrow of letting go and moving on realizing that what used to be isnt anymore but I am a bit confused by the beginning bit where you say:


It is when two hands touch,
the world splits into halves.
And for a mere contraction
(nerve impulse of a muscle)
the two are joined by a third,
and we are neither
'here, today'
nor 'there, tomorrow'

we simply are

could you explain it to me what it means and what it is about. but besides the fact that i dont get that part i like it this piece is really nice, mellow and a bit sorrowful it made me feel really relaxed (or maybe its because im sleepy) and sad. This poem feel really nice but the complete meaning to me is unclear. please help

| Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by ladydeathstrike | [ Reply to This ]
  Ahh, sadness, deep sadness . . . what mysterious energies move us . . . impel us to seek one another, then impel us to part company? Sometimes in logic, in mathematics, and in love . . . the missing thing can be discovered by understanding its effect upon the things present . . . or so they tell me. This poem reminded me of that, too.

And speaking of forces, there's that deeper layer of meaning sensed, if not clearly defined, of limited moments, a perfect time for an event within the field of time. With a beginning, and an end . . . ah, an end! It lasts but a second, this observation of 3 hands in perfect syncronicity, but twice a day . . . for you may have called this Noon, though that would hardly suit the night owl in you!

This rises far above mere observational narrative, even if you take yourself as one of the hands and become that character for a moment . . . it STILL resonates beyond that understanding <which I must admit is elusive at first, and is why I've had to edit this comment>. But besides the hands of the clock as characters in a love drama of moving together and moving apart, there's the SHAPE of this poem, which seems to suggest something of an hourglass . . . hmmm, clever girl, whether it was intended or not, one sees it if they look carefully!

The resignation of the last line hits hard with a plunging plunging wave of sadness, if I can call it that. Bittersweet, this is, Katia.

And sad, but I repeat myself.

This was long overdue!

| Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by Vancrown | [ Reply to This ]
  When I read this I think of someone having an affair. I will say since you said it was about love in some way but not truly that made me have to read this poem about 10 times. here are the lines that made me think of an affair
"the two are joined by a third"
"You drop my hand and
tell me that its late,
Its gone past midnight

That's when I know
that hand left you behind…

and I let go"

the very ending made me truly think about it. Like this could be looked at from the wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend or the girl/boy that was in on the affair. And its like saying that they either left you or they are going home back to their family. But then again you could imply many things like a cult even. I first thought of a few beings in a cult and they join hands for their saiance's. and then when it gets to late they head home for the night.Yet, it really sounds like an affair because also the first lines "It is when two hands touch,
the world splits into halves." like when the two having the affair thats when the man/woman's family life shall soon end. fore someone will find out. But I truly think of an affair when reading this. Probably the most off comment you shall get but I gave it a try.

Take care
| Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by slntfirflm | [ Reply to This ]
  i see the hourglass that ravenwolf68 mentioned, not the faces. but after reading the poem i looked more closely and see fingers. the white spaces look like fingers about to touch...or just barely touching, then blending together. i don't know, maybe i'm nuts. good poem though. i could maybe see something supernaturual in this. like a spirit connecting with the two clasping hands. good thoughts, keep writing.
| Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by Sweets | [ Reply to This ]
  I felt this one could have been about religion or trust in a relationship. I really liked the tone you had goin in your poem. It showed a bit of flair and helped create drama. I was put off by the (explanation for a) contraction. But otherwise I enjoyed this one very much because it could be quite a few stories in one depending on the reader's mood and how many times they looked at it. Enjoyed
| Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
  wow, that was stunning... the way you laid it out like an hourglass, describing time, midnight when all hands point in the same direction... one second in time. could be about love, too. the last part, "and i let you go," releasing that hand... time waits for no man and the world keeps turning.
this is a new fave!
@ Cat
| Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a work that I admit, I am going to need some time to mull over. I think I know, but I'm not going to insult the piece by giving a half answer. The flow is very good, as is the tone. By the way, your butterfly photo inspired my last post. Take care.
| Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by Malcolm Bishop | [ Reply to This ]
  This one is so attuned to the understory, the undefined part of us that motivates, that seeks, that loves. And as two people do hold hands each one is advised by a power much greater than them. It's when the conversation wanes, we know when to leave. And all that is around us and sees more than this life of ours. If we do not stop now, we risk destroying the sweetness we've had this night.

And then I realize I do not think in the same ways others do, so my ideas on this could be way off. This piece could be viewed in so many ways, I love that about it. Anytime you drive this deeply, it yeilds great work,
peace and love,
| Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
  Life and Death! That's what I see. Sands of time (hourglass?),
hands" of time, "the world split in halves". Fear that the hands of time will stop for someone, but "that hand left you behind", that someone survived, "and I let go", the fear has subsided, at least momentarily.

Favorite line/s:

"we simply are"

In the middle of your poem, a profound statement, a belief in the "now", this moment, with no regard for future or past.

"Midnight", the turning of the day, can one survive into the next. Yes, if those hands. are not stopped, by a "third" (Death?). That's how I see this, as a deathbed watch.

Very cleverly constructed, in form, and wording (all of the time references). This takes the reader, breathlessly, to the bewitching hour, hoping that time will continue onward. Definitely, this is about life and death.

Who knows? This is so well written it leaves interpretation to the reader. I still believe it's concerning life and death. "neither / 'here', today / nor 'there', tomorrow". Hey, that's just me. A great poem, now a FAV.

| Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by phil askew | [ Reply to This ]
  i think this piece is pretty interesting.
there is much about time in this. at the same time there is a lot that can be interpreted in a personal way and that is fine, and the balance of that and what you tell us is good here.

i have a couple of small suggestions:
how about adding 'that,' and removing the comma after line one? i always think that when you introduce a piece it in good to move, an did think that the first sentence does not quite move well from the first to the second line:
'It is when two hands touch that
the world splits into halves.'

it is interesting that you have chosen to close the sentence after that point and then start the next with the word 'and.' i am sure you know that we are not supposed to do this but i think the word and is very important in writing and i see no problem with doing this.

i dont think you need the comma after 'third,' in the following section:
'the two are joined by a third,
and we are neither'
firstly because it is not grammatically necessary and because it is not needed poetically. it undermines the commas in the next part:
[which incidentally i thought long and hard about whether you needed these commas and decided that you wanted a pause in there, and that was fine for me]
'and we are neither
'here, today'
nor 'there, tomorrow'
three commas in such a short space in such a short piece is perhaps one too many.

and now i have to go and i will be back to edit and finish this comment, i am not done with you yet by any means!

take care
| Posted on 2005-08-20 00:00:00 | by | [ Reply to This ]
  fu-ck i nearly forgot, but i am back.
so now that that is all aside, i can talk about your message.
i think this piece works as a bridge between what is literal and what is abstract. abstract in that you do not really tell us anything specific or concrete, but literal in that what you are speaking of is not totally pollack[s]. i think that this is a nice place to play with words, because too abstract will alienate and too spoon and bib and sloppy baby food just leave us with nothing to do other than to move on and try and find another sh-it poem.
in relation to your subject and your diction, i have nothing of substance ot offer you; i think it is all there as it should be and i like the gentle and slightly solemn way in which you commentate.

so time. and love. and being dizzy and unknown entities and
[insert your feelings here]

i am in slow rewind. i think time does stand still. at defining moments there is a haze like a fish eye lens where the periphery is black. the point at which you lose that hand, just before she gets knocked over by a car right in front of you after seeing her off to work with a kiss, or just before you know you will never see her again in your own arms because she is going to rest in someone else's, is where time can stand still.

take care katia,
| Posted on 2005-08-20 00:00:00 | by | [ Reply to This ]
  This is lovely.
I really like how it can be taken so many different ways. But to me, it shines with the simplistic beauty of love, past or present. Touching the hand of someone you love, or have loved may seem simple, but it can change everything. So much with so little of contact. Wonderful.
Traci :)
| Posted on 2005-08-20 00:00:00 | by onetruesmartass | [ Reply to This ]
  At last! A post by my favorite poetess!

Whilst I'm not qualified to pull this to pieces (see, if I was I would have said dissect) I can tell you what I thought. I immediately looked for the picture, and saw the hourglass, but on further staring, I saw a chess piece.

So, if I was a member of the "literati" I would tell you that symbolises the pieces we all are in the eternal game of'm I doin' so far?

You seem to be on a "time" kick at the moment, Kat. You going through a phase? Fell like life is passing you by, and far too bloody quickly? Believe me, there's plenty of time, but your little journal speaks the absolute truth. So many people wish there lives were over by wanting tomorrow to come.

Back to your poem! I'm going for pawns in the game, and losing the feeling, knowing when it's over, as the magic fades. If it's not about should

Very nice, and the longest comment I've given since you left Britain.

Be Happy

| Posted on 2005-08-20 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
  I saw Magnicat had added this as a favorite, and I decided to check it out. I like the idea that two people become a sort of third being, and I guess the "splits into halves" makes me think that it splits into "before we were one" and "after we were one" (which is my way of saying "neither/ 'here, today'/ nor 'there, tomorrow'"). "Its gone past midnight" makes me think of Cinderella, and that's makes me wonder why midnight is important in this piece. Is it just late, and she wants to go home?

Stylistically, I think you could tighten this up for greater impact. For instance, you could say "When two hands touch,/ the world splits into halves" without losing any meaning (that I can see anyway). I also think I'd omit "nerve impulse of a muscle" because I like a little ambiguity (It gives readers something to ponder), and the third stanza makes it evident what sort of contraction you mean.

Speaking of contractions, you need a comma in the "it's" in "Its gone past midnight." You also need to make your quotation marks into double ones because single ones are for quotations within quotations. Anyway, these are just suggestions, so always feel free to ignore me.

This is really original, and it makes me wonder why I've been ignoring you (without realizing it), Amy
| Posted on 2005-08-21 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
  okay my sweetest girl...I miss you firstly. I have not been around at all. I was here checking on messages and doing some replying and I was so happy to see that you had posted. I was sad however that I am so behind in the commenting. I am lonely here at the very top of this very long list.

This is beatiful and has such an airy, ethereal quality. To me this is about spirituality. I realize that there could be many meanings to this, but that is what i get. That third being- the universe, Spirit, whatever you want to call it.

Katia, this piece is effortless and soft as a whisper. It goes down so smooth and you have nailed it in my opinion. For me it was as visually interesting as it was interesting in the way of ideas and words and phrasing. You are always just a bit offbeat and it is a quality in you that I have always loved.

my favorite...

And for a mere contraction
(nerve impulse of a muscle)
the two are joined by a third,
and we are neither
'here, today'
nor 'there, tomorrow'

we simply are

hoping to meet you in this space soon.
| Posted on 2005-08-21 00:00:00 | by Magnolia | [ Reply to This ]
  Oh Katia what shall I say!
You imagery always leaves me spellbound!

I think this is a about the conception of a baby in the womb.
We all know that babies are made of half number of chromosomes coming as 2 sets, one from the mother the other from the father. Those 2 are "joined" by number 3 - the baby fully formed.

Somehow this starts with 2 lovers holding hands and projecting their thoughts into the future, where their love is crowned by a baby.
A part of both of them that remains after they have gone.

Then comes the 2nd stanza and we feel that only the woman have gone this far, for the man is only thinking of the time being, and it is late already and it is time to part.
It is like a vision she had, but that somehow he did not share or did not see yet:

That's when I know
that hand left you behind…

and I let go

Then the last verse we see that the woman lets her vision go, since not shared and she comes back to the same moment that her lover is in, till perhaps he shares her dream. Or maybe she just knew he is not the ONE for her, the one with whom a part of them will remain.

A fave Katia!

| Posted on 2005-08-22 00:00:00 | by babyblue002 | [ Reply to This ]
  First glance - I didn't see the hourglass, I saw two faces - go figure, must be the kahlua...

Katia, again, your way with words and emotion, WOW...I felt somewhat sad, yet I sort had this impression of you letting go of the hand since they were there...either in body or spirit:
"That's when I know
that hand left you behind…

and I let go"

Course I'm forever the romantic and always wanting to see that happy ending...

I, as always am extremely moved by your way with capturing a scene and displaying it ever so beautifully and intricately
It's a keeper...just like you
| Posted on 2005-08-19 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
  *looking for glass slipper* I know I left it here somewhere...

*moves garbage can and finds a hand*



To me...I can take this in many ways.

1: When the two hands meet and the world divides...I can see that as either love or unity.

2: Being joined by a third...I can take that as the presence of God.

3: Neither here nor there...I take that as us being trapped in a middle. (duh) Specifically, we are in this world but this world is neither here nor there. We are inbetween. OR that can be taken as not being in love...not having no feelings...but a strong connection.

4: The moving, rhythmic, steady force...that could either be your heart. could be something deeper...a supernatural force that pulls two together...

5: Dropping his hand past midnight and letting go...time could be an excuse to leave. It could just not be meant to be. This could be an underground Cinderella story and she got dumped...LOL...or the timing just isn't right for their love to continue.

6: Letting have to if there is nothing left to hold onto. You let this person walk away knowing that it just can't be.

Yeah...there are my many translations.

Much love,

Li Li
| Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
  *Sheesh...took forever to scroll down here...hee-hee*

I see a far as the format of the words go...

I also do see a sense of love...lost love...towards the end. Like someone wanted to stop at midnight and the other wanted to continue beyond that point, ya know? One is content with a situation and the other wants it to progress or carry it further. Thats just what I get out of this. It was a very good write ma dear. Have a good one and keep smilin'
| Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?