Yearning for the distant islands built by clouds on the horizon where they gather away from me... the images tis poem delivers is incredible. I look forward to reading more of your poetry. It made me feel longing for whats to come and what has already past.
very nice. i like the feeling of speed, the beating heart tempo. not bad at all.
maybe slow it down here a little: Shadows speaking to me as some ink blot- a doctor would inquire about its meaning. add that little dash, because i found i stumbled over that part. other than that, it seems you are experienced enough to edit your own. nice work.
This has a unique sound of loneliness to it that I haven't read in other "lonely" poems. I like the originality. I think the second stanza speaks to me most as I have been in that spot. With every approaching car your heart rapidly beats with excitement or anticipation...then descends into disappointment as it passes on by. Each stanza has its own uniqueness. A nice write. ~Sandra
I liked the first but part, but the second part not so much I felt it drifted away from what the originall first part of the poem was about which was loneliness and waiting for some one. I felt it took the view from your loneliness to a bit of a day dream. the imagery was really good and I liked the thought of sitting a darkend part of the house waiting for someone that is close or dear. and the second part I liked the thought of a get away a fantasy where nothing can go wrong. but the two together I guess just isn't me fancy. but hey that's just my opinion. have a good one okay? - emily