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    dots Submission Name: Looking back to the pastdots

    Author: solemnpen
    ASL Info:    18
    Elite Ratio:    4.02 - 303/339/42
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1034
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 641

       this was inspired by some of ravenwolf68s poems.. a lot of problems i have encountered, and i can proudly say i have confidently overcame all of them...

    so this is just a little something, something.. to that effect..

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLooking back to the pastdots

    reading and speeding
    about and on things
    that i got no business knowing

    so many nightmares
    turned to campfire tales
    without one mention of

    the past is some shit
    but the truth still lives
    Inspiration comes from

    her thoughts put on the page
    are my mona lisa
    it gives me my lyrical rage
    to look back at my past

    to give a smile and
    holler "Fuck You"
    without assistance
    I stand on my own two feet
    And scream "Kiss My Ass"

    Submitted on 2005-08-20 20:15:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Well said! There's nothing wrong with letting people know that they inspire you, and Lisa certainly does that.

    t was, however a strange build-up, from a wistful trip down memory lane to a full-blown rant, I guess that's not a bad thing.

    I liked it, anyway

    Be Happy

    | Posted on 2005-08-20 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm..well, its a little confusing in the beginning, Cade. reading and speeding? and it's "I have no business" not "I got"
    you can do w/o the "on things" that screws up the first line.
    the 4th stanza, you can say "her thoughts on the page" it's a given that she put them on the page. mona lisa = Mona Lisa
    good job Cade :) nice piece

    | Posted on 2005-08-20 00:00:00 | by dylanpoe | [ Reply to This ]
      this one is a lil confusing. but meaningful. i liked the whole mona lisa part and it's cool that u pay homeage 2 those who inspire u.
    | Posted on 2005-08-20 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      very hella kunfuzin...but it is good that people inspire you...llike youand troy and J inspire me...thas why ur seeing mor music..and stuff...thankx! but..ya wtf is reading and speedin?lol!

    | Posted on 2005-08-21 00:00:00 | by Suicidalchild51 | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, this is something that is so very personal to you and I'm in no position to critique you on that...it was quite powerful though. Especially at the end there! "Kiss My Ass" is one of my most favorite phrases, let me tell you and it's good that you can look back on the bad and flip it the big ol bird! Nice write!

    Much love and respect!
    | Posted on 2005-08-23 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      i can tell that it was some [censored] that was obviously important to you on a personal level. it was brash and direct. you gotta keep [censored] real. keep on livin homie~P
    | Posted on 2005-08-23 00:00:00 | by Aknahlij_d 1 | [ Reply to This ]
      This [censored] here made me laugh. I don't neccesarily get it but it made me laugh. Do you rap? it sounds like this is something that would be better understood when read aloud. Kinda like spoken word. Nobody gets it until you preform and then there like ooooooh that's hot. Anyway thanx for the laugh.

    - Janese
    | Posted on 2005-08-24 00:00:00 | by Chi-Town Rose | [ Reply to This ]

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