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Stain of her Secret


Author: Kaitylizzy
ASL Info:    20/female/Vermont
Elite Ratio:    8 - 284 /172 /36
Words: 241
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 990
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1579



Description:


comment on anything, I think the set up needs some work


Stain of her Secret



Hint of perfume; an apple in disguise,
red nail polish smeared recklessly,
Though maybe it was the knife that dripped.
Gazing through ants’ eyes,
It’s placid a peaceful lake.
One that the little boy flew his kite near.
Yes, it was only the other day,
when the long luxurious evenings
Of golden splatter made it all forever forgotten.
Forever was a moment too long.
The rustling trees gave a scared whisper,
of a place, a closet, dark and alone,
Where secrets are no longer quiet.
Nice was a word to describe them,
a boy and girl, the villagers could never read,
their meaning among intentions.
It seemed they were kept forever by two small hands.
Could it of been that first kiss,
that set it all off,
the heavy sighs of sex,
or maybe just the broken board on the bed.
The cloth twisted, its rosy color
now soaked with a darker shade.
A water glass tipped over carelessly,
where a waterfall once tumbled to the black marble.
Memories recollected of an ice-cream dish shared.
Where it turned to milk, but red with too much cherry juice.
Her tongue could tie those knots perfectly on the stem,
such as the knot she tied to her boy,
with her mouth, her delicate lips, and swollen breasts.
Intentions not known, but tears trickle,
as the perfume leaves the room,
and the nail polish dries,
leaving the stain of her secret forever lingering.




Submitted on 2005-08-21 12:04:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I'm still a little confused as to what the secret is. I think she killed somebody, but who? Otherwise, good!

blessed be and peace out,
Kris
| Posted on 2006-06-12 00:00:00 | by Hungarian Girl | [ Reply to This ]
  I don't feel the need to write an essay on this. That's okay, right? I also wonder what the girl's secret is, and what she's trying to hide.
Maybe fear, maybe doubt, maybe shame?
Oh well. Too late now to wonder xD

-Mi.
| Posted on 2005-11-29 00:00:00 | by Mieko | [ Reply to This ]
  i really do love your style of writing and contrary to your description, i think it is set up perfectly, i had no trouble reading it, i loved the diction you used in such lines as "when the long luxurious evenings
Of golden splatter made it all forever forgotten."
purely beautiful.
in my point of view it seems as though what is being described is a young couple, virgins, making love and ridding themselves of their virginity. how now she probably wishes she could take it all back, the regret of past actions, and how powerful an emotion passion can be, to get caught up in the moment.
it was a very sexy poem, very descriptive, very erotic.
what inspired you to write this poem?
i'd love to talk with you sometime, i feel that you have alot you can show me as far as bettering my self as a poet is concerned. i know there are many different ways to interpret this piece, and forgive me if i am way off track, but..." Intentions not known, but tears trickle,
as the perfume leaves the room,
and the nail polish dries,
leaving the stain of her secret forever lingering.
"

this line is quite cryptic, and it really places the perfect ending on a perfect poem, my interpretation as i mentioned, intentions not known, they dont know why, or... she doesn't know why she did it, but it is something she regrets but cannot, ever, take back, "forever lingering" you never forget your first...
i admire your talent, and would love you to teach me some of your skill and share with me some ideas and experiences as i would with you, maybe we could talk sometime.
again, i don't mean to go on and on about nothing, but i think your poems are beautiful, thank you for sharing them.
take care,
Ryan
| Posted on 2005-10-12 00:00:00 | by bosse22 | [ Reply to This ]


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