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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: MOREdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Thornful Rose
    ASL Info:    23-female-California
    Elite Ratio:    3.74 - 141/186/49
    Words: 266
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 765
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1819



    Description:
       a random piece...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMOREdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Life...
    Paused.
    Sometimes, suddenly the world stops.

    And you realize:
    There might be more.
    More than the mere worldly possesions you adore.
    More to life than just the one your living.
    Possibly more thoughts than those your feeling.
    It could be you deserve more than you've been given.

    And be prepared:
    There's more stops than this one currently unsuccesfully spinning.
    Know that there are more concepts that sneak by your fingertips slipping.
    Slipping through time slots while stating current positions,
    Almost like this world really needs more tracking systems.

    And then grasp:
    You can count on more tears and reasons to cry...
    Kind of like how there will be more people asking if your okay and why.
    Why do you even bother?
    And why your not to blame?
    Why your not more bothered?
    And how you can remain so sane?

    I can guarantee you'll hear a whole olt more "your insane's"
    But theres always more hurt to balance more pain.
    More or less a reminder that, life like love, is no simple game.
    You'll find more friends to help and hearts to shame...
    A bunch more mouths screaming out and most not even really knowing your name.

    There will be more of this and more of that...
    More peaceful protests gone astray...
    and more wars that never deliver their better promised days.

    Thats life.
    More sad at times and loving later.
    Tear stained pillows and more chain letters.

    More so than before the world success begins.
    UNPAUSED.
    The world begins to solomnly spin.
    More.
    More escapes and




    Submitted on 2005-08-21 15:34:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I like the way you touch in with the introspection on life. I think this is what poets do better than any other artists.

    I especially like the way the last line is left hanging, telling us there is more.

    Some thoughts:

    I can guarantee you'll hear a whole olt more "your insane's"
    Did you mean lot?

    Why do you even bother?
    And why your not to blame?
    Why your not more bothered?

    What about
    Why do you even bother?
    And why your not to blame?
    Why your not more annoyed?

    I think the vocabulary variety might give it a cleaner feel.

    I like this!

    Chrystine
    | Posted on 2005-11-12 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
      whooo this really had me thinking , in life were never happy , we want more as you said or we want to be someone else but they suffer just the same and sometimes worse.
    be thankful for what you have and only you can change it be it yr job , boyfriend etc yr not happy with but as for yrself we are who we are and each one unique and precious we all hurt and we all bleed , but the only things that are for certain is life and death.
    great piece
    take care
    Lainie x
    | Posted on 2005-08-21 00:00:00 | by lainie75 | [ Reply to This ]
      It's a big question, indeed: Is that all there is?

    I like the way you set this out, not just random thoughts, but well-mapped statements.

    Great work.

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-08-21 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay first off let me just say I love the pic alright, now that we got that out of the way lets go to the piece. Hmm this is interesting. I really liked the set out for this, I've never really seen anything like it before and I must say I'm impressed. This piece really got me thinking and now I've got a headache. But that's good at least I'm receiving some cranial response, hahaha lol. Sorry I'm crazy.
    | Posted on 2005-08-21 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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