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    dots Submission Name: SCRAPEDdots

    Author: layDsayD
    ASL Info:    29/f/florida
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 264/243/147
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 577
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 530

       this is a lil diffrent for me i havent even read it since i wrote it i kinda wanted to keep it raw i tend to over edit things hope you guys will help me out

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Stomach swells from to much drink
    Head spins from all this thought
    I should sleep
    I wont though
    Never do
    Ill wait for morning
    Wait for the light to lull me
    A baby cries from far off
    Maybe it in my head
    Yes I am insane
    Tiny hands claw at my thighs
    God make it stop
    They promised
    Promised with time it would fade
    Yet here I am
    The world still spinning
    The room still spinning
    I need another shot

    Submitted on 2005-08-21 21:48:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Wow this is good for a first draft...it really gives me a feel for the way you felt? when writing it??? Do you suffer mental illness or was this entirely imagination??? I think it is a good piece either way and will read more of your work when I have time..the only typo i picked up on was its not it in this line...

    Maybe it in my head

    | Posted on 2005-08-21 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      Nicely written I agree with stormyskies, it is a good piece which ever way you have written keep up the good work i will check out your other poem peace & stay safe...
    | Posted on 2005-08-22 00:00:00 | by Cordell | [ Reply to This ]
      It is different than I have read in here. But I am puzzled what really is happening. Is the author going insane mentally or from drugs or alchol abuse. Maybe just me.
    God Bless
    | Posted on 2005-08-22 00:00:00 | by Poetic Cure | [ Reply to This ]
      indeed.you have the capacity for abstract thought.this is always attractive.a lot motivates you.and i think you still dont realize it all yet.hell i dont realize all mine either.lol.
    me and you have the same problem=making sense of it all and it shows in our writing.

    this was short and kinda jumbled,but i find i like it none the less and understant it i do.

    im insane myself


    all one mans opinion

    | Posted on 2005-08-22 00:00:00 | by toyysruss | [ Reply to This ]

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