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    dots Submission Name: My Lovelydots

    Author: DeadGod
    ASL Info:    20/M/OR
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 61/103/31
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 891
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 725

       I was reading Baudelaire the other day, and I decided I wanted to mimic some of his style. This is, like most of my other poetry, about a girl. Also, about my insecurities regarding reality.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Lovelydots

    A lightpost dies behind my pulsing steps;
    The shadows cast around me weave and curl
    As falling ashes. Silent trumpets hurl
    Their echoes to the mire where dreams are kept,

    Like sparks above the embers in my mind.
    An image hovers, caught between my eyes
    And life. The space of hopes and faith (and lies)
    That lend a shallow brightness to the blind!

    Of course, I must in my position test
    My sanity with that we know is best:
    And thus we damn ourselves with bright delusion.

    And yet, although I know this is the case,
    A picture floats before me, of her face,
    And is, I fear, my favorite illusion.

    Submitted on 2005-08-22 14:54:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      "And yet, although I know this is the case,
    A picture floats before me, of her face,
    And is, I fear, my favorite illusion"

    I like that part the best. The whole thing is great too though, but that just kind of stuck out for me. I don't know. I love the way you word things. Amazing. I have nothing negative to say about this. Great job

    | Posted on 2005-08-22 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed the first two stanzas. The last stanza, however, is somewhat unnatural and hard to read. It doesn't flow as well as the two preceding. Good images and contrasts between shadows and sparks etc.
    | Posted on 2005-08-22 00:00:00 | by AngelintheRain | [ Reply to This ]
      One, baudelaire is too much sophisticated with deep messages and double meaning, he is known for his strict notorious style for both men and women. I can sense you read Flowers of Evil but if one wants to say "mimic" Baudelaire is a bad choice cause he is a frech god-poet. anyway I do like the quatrains and the wording in particular, some people fail at that, good job and keep it up
    | Posted on 2005-08-22 00:00:00 | by YoungWerther | [ Reply to This ]

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