Tear through me, I know you will if I open up
You won't destroy what I've created!
I've bled for ages, no care to be as one
Tears don't fall for loveless beings of nothing
You won't tame me
I'll stay running until the time comes to fight
Remember what I say because I won't quit
Until you're nothing but shedded skin
Never hated the need to hate
Take me on your humble wings
Bring us to the creator of our senses
We're the one for all and only none for one
Self control
You won't tame me
I'll stay fighting until the time comes to run
Remember what I say because I won't quit
Until you're nothing but calloused skin
Oh wow hun. This is powerful. The first stanza you make it known that you are who you are because of the pains and trials you've have been through. I like the second stanza because you say you'll run till the time comes to fight. So that sounds like someone has tried to change you. The "you're nothing but shredded skin" is very effective. Sort of saying “screw you I won't give in to you.” The "Take me on your humble wings" seems to be in the sarcastic sense to me. I just felt that you were really telling this person to go to hell and that this person isn't as perfect or righteous as they think. Then in the last stanza you refer back to the fighting till this person is out of your life and your mind. Declaring that you'll fight till they are nothing. Umm I liked it. :) Good job.
teenage angst, rebellion, Go on ya good thing, this sounds like a through it too the wind breakup rant. the tears do shine so brightly through the lines youve written here. i get the impression that the character has been wanting to shed this skin for some time but only reciently found the courage to go, publicf about it. i think i get this impresssion through the fairly obvious anger that seeds through this poem, a little bit more reason and a little less hate would go a long way, Siriquelle,
Ya know sweetie...if I could I'd come give you a HUGE hug...just cause I know that it might bring a smile to your face. I missed reading your writings. I can remember many times where I just looked over myself as a person and saw nothing but garbage. Shoot, my ex made me feel like garbage. But ya know what...I must be radioactive darn garbage. Cause I always manage to pick my ass back up when someone knocks me down. And I can safely say that you my dear are the same way. You've got a fighter's spirit. hang in there. Keep wriring...I promise I'll keep reading.
teenage angst? ha! we both know it's not angst...it's being out in the world and seeing [censored]ed up [censored], and having the balls to release it into a gut wrenching, mind blowing, wall of sound, jam dude! Dude, i felt this one, and I saw you just giving it all you got into the mic, and the whole band just rockin the [censored]. Lord oh Lord...this is gonna be the [censored] bro, take care man, i'll talk with you soon