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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Garbagedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Me Rambling
    Elite Ratio:    5.91 - 279/319/51
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1039
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 820



    Description:
       ... and that's not just the title.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGarbagedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Tear through me, I know you will if I open up
    You won't destroy what I've created!
    I've bled for ages, no care to be as one
    Tears don't fall for loveless beings of nothing

    You won't tame me
    I'll stay running until the time comes to fight
    Remember what I say because I won't quit
    Until you're nothing but shedded skin

    Never hated the need to hate
    Take me on your humble wings
    Bring us to the creator of our senses
    We're the one for all and only none for one
    Self control

    You won't tame me
    I'll stay fighting until the time comes to run
    Remember what I say because I won't quit
    Until you're nothing but calloused skin




    Submitted on 2005-08-22 19:04:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Oh wow hun. This is powerful. The first stanza you make it known that you are who you are because of the pains and trials you've have been through. I like the second stanza because you say you'll run till the time comes to fight. So that sounds like someone has tried to change you. The "you're nothing but shredded skin" is very effective. Sort of saying “screw you I won't give in to you.” The "Take me on your humble wings" seems to be in the sarcastic sense to me. I just felt that you were really telling this person to go to hell and that this person isn't as perfect or righteous as they think. Then in the last stanza you refer back to the fighting till this person is out of your life and your mind. Declaring that you'll fight till they are nothing. Umm I liked it. :) Good job.

    -blt
    | Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      teenage angst,
    rebellion,
    Go on ya good thing,
    this sounds like a through it too the wind breakup rant. the tears do shine so brightly through the lines youve written here. i get the impression that the character has been wanting to shed this skin for some time but only reciently found the courage to go, publicf about it. i think i get this impresssion through the fairly obvious anger that seeds through this poem, a little bit more reason and a little less hate would go a long way,
    Siriquelle,
    | Posted on 2005-08-22 00:00:00 | by Siriquelle | [ Reply to This ]
      Ya know sweetie...if I could I'd come give you a HUGE hug...just cause I know that it might bring a smile to your face. I missed reading your writings. I can remember many times where I just looked over myself as a person and saw nothing but garbage. Shoot, my ex made me feel like garbage. But ya know what...I must be radioactive darn garbage. Cause I always manage to pick my ass back up when someone knocks me down. And I can safely say that you my dear are the same way. You've got a fighter's spirit. hang in there. Keep wriring...I promise I'll keep reading.

    Much love.

    -sami
    | Posted on 2005-08-24 00:00:00 | by Juliets_dagger | [ Reply to This ]
      teenage angst? ha! we both know it's not angst...it's being out in the world and seeing [censored]ed up [censored], and having the balls to release it into a gut wrenching, mind blowing, wall of sound, jam dude! Dude, i felt this one, and I saw you just giving it all you got into the mic, and the whole band just rockin the [censored]. Lord oh Lord...this is gonna be the [censored] bro, take care man, i'll talk with you soon

    brent
    | Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by austin | [ Reply to This ]


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