Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Here now theredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Unicrom
    ASL Info:    30/m/pacific northwest
    Elite Ratio:    4.81 - 116/71/110
    Words: 898
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 919
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 5944



    Description:
       A retelling of the story All my crewmembers this time from the Eye's of Holly Star and her encounters in the conroll room.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHere now theredots
    -------------------------------------------


    "See, you're always blowing things out of proportion." Meria argued back.

    "So what do you want from me? You want me to just disappear from you life? Huh? Well fine!" Holy Star shouted back. And then she did just that, she disappeared.

    Meria mood switched from anger to fear as she ran to the bridge. That was a transporter beam which meant that someone transported Holy Star off the ship. Meria had to try to confirm this using the ship's impercise internal sensors and find who was in range to transport Holy Star off the ship.

    The two new people, Tuesday and Drake were on the bridge.

    "Have we passed by any ships recently?" Meria barked.

    "You kidding me? We must have passed nearly fifty ships since we entered sector 1." Drake said. He gestured on screen as Earth grew increasingly larger.

    "Shit fuck!" Meria growled as she stepped up to the consul that controled the internal and external sensors and tapped her personal comm badge.

    "Tempest, Holy Star disappeared." Meria said. "She was beamed out while I was talking to her."

    "Who's Holy Star?" Drake asked Tuesday.

    "Who would take Holy Star?" Tempest replied over the comm.

    Tuesday shrugged and replied. "I think the woman took out of the closet."

    "I'm not sure," Meria said, "I'm looking for her in the sensors, but if she's on another ship, she'll be impossible to trace. We haven't given her a comm badge yet. I'm going to see if I can find her on the ship, just in case she wasn't beam far."

    Rising Phoenix's sensors weren't nearly as precise as Starfleet's were. Too make matters worse, the ship had a few rat nests that could easily be mistaken for human life signs with the inprecise internal sensors.

    While Meria worked with the sensors, Drake and Tuesday began contacting a few of the nearby commercial ships to see if she somehow was beamed there by accident.

    "Dammit! I need the twins," Meria said finally, "they could work these crappy sensors better than I can."

    "See, you're always blowing things out of proportion." Meria argued back.

    "So what do you want from me? You want me to just disappear from you life? Huh? Well fine!" Holy Star shouted back. Suddenly Meria and the mess hall was gone. Holy looked around and found herself in a room filled with various hardware in various states of disrepair and a young woman with bright peach colored hair. The woman looked just as shocked to find Holy Star appear as Holy Star was. The woman with peach colored hair looked around for a weapon.

    "Ah, you must be Haruko or Mamimi." Holy Star said. Meria's discription of the twins closely resembled the woman she saw before her. Unfortunately this only seemed to alarm the woman even more.

    Mamimi grabbed a peice of hardware and held it as a club. "Who are you and how did you know my name?" She demanded.

    "I'm Holy Star and-"

    "Who's this?" Another woman, identical to the first, entered the room. She carried what looked like a modified phaser and it was aimed straight at her.

    "You must be the twins I've heard so much about." Holy Star tried to smile and seem confident, but she wasn't used to phasers being pointed at her.

    "Who told you about us?" Said the twin with the phaser.

    "Meria. I'm her wife." Holy Star said.

    "I've know Meria," Mamimi said.

    "But she never mentioned a wife." Haruko said.

    "Well of course not!" Holy Star exploded. "I'm just here wife. Why would she tell anyone about me!?!"

    The two twins exchanged a look, which Holy Star interpreted correctly. "Listen," she said to them, "I"m not crazy. Really, I'm Meria's wife."

    The silence that followed was broken by Haruko's outbust of laughter as the lowered you police issue blaster. Once she regained composure she started in "We'll when Mamimi said that she found the source of the sensor's glitch I thought it was just an error. I when came in and saw ya. Well.. you."

    "Startled me." Mamimi finshed.

    "Yeah." Haruko added.

    "We appologize for any inconvience that we might have caused you." they both said in unison. "It's not every day that an electronc ghost turns out to be a stowaway."

    "But anyways since you are here. Welcome aboard." Hauko steped towards Holly. Holstering her Desert Eagle Maruder a rather large and intimidating piece.

    Mamimi stood there slightly dumbfounded by it all and waited momentarly for it all to sink in. Her mouth formed a perfect o as she finaly realized what Holly was saying.

    "Funny isn't it. how people prioritize things. But enough of that nonsense."

    "We fixed the security grid." Mamimi jumped up and down excitedly.

    "Yes we did." Haruko agreed "and since you're here we wanted you to be the first to try out our new security cards. These new cards are part of the new upgrades we made to this ship."

    "So people like Rammer could be deep spaced if the Captain wants." Mamimi chimed in.

    "Exactly." Haruko nodded.




    Submitted on 2005-08-22 23:17:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      A TECHNOLOGICAL DETERMINIST I pressume...This is some sagacious work of art, I am literaly blown away by your application of words...very captivating. About the actual story, it was rather unique, I did not expect it to turn out the way it did...As for Holy being a ghost...In actual effect, the entire plot demonstrated your ingeniousness...I have no negative comments about this piece...You surely managed to grab my attention and kept me anticipating for more...I dont know why some of our fellow elite mates are reluctant to read longer pieces...its a little dissapointing, but hey...their mission is to get their points across, so enough about that!I greatly enjoyed this piece!Be happy...Nobantu
    | Posted on 2005-08-23 00:00:00 | by Nobantu | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    71643

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry