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My perfectness

Author: manderz_1207
ASL Info:    15/f/mi
Elite Ratio:    5.45 - 95 /109 /38
Words: 77
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 1227
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 566


My perfectness

Your my perfect rose,
my "always on time" rainshower.
My beautiful, picture perfect sunset.
my relaxing, romantic waterfall.
The breeze that blows through my hair.

You're that extra heartbeat (I cannot see).
The reason for those butterflies in my stomache.
You give that unspeakable vibe,
that "weak in the knees" feeling.

The bringer of a smile for me,
at any given time of day.
you give me those warm,meaningful hugs.
You are my true love.

Submitted on 2005-08-23 15:11:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  Aww, how romantic. Sometimes we just have to write how we feel as honestly as possible. And you have done that here.

Well done.
| Posted on 2005-10-10 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
  i loved this. you can tell that you were realy in love when you wrote this one and if you werent then you did a good job expressing those feelings. i mean after a long hot day who dosent love a refreshing rainshower. Me and waterfalls we go back ive had some great moments watching a waterfall. i must say that you did a good job with this one.this is going on my favorite list.

| Posted on 2005-09-28 00:00:00 | by luvy | [ Reply to This ]
  awwww this is so precious. this deserves a line by line commentary just cause i just love it so much.

v1 the perfect rose true to its symbolic nature of love and beauty.
v2 the always on time rainshower is wonderful the rain i see as a blessing, something that longed for by many to sustain life. adding always on time is a special thing there just when you need it there it is.
v3 "My beautiful, picture perfect sunset." sunsets are the best. sunsets do go away but the beauty left in the mind carries on and there is one a day each individual sunset has its own uniqueness.
v4 "my relaxing, romantic waterfall." a waterfall has its sound of relaxation true i agree with that its so soothing to hear water flowing. added "romantic" is a pleasant touch.
v5 the breeze is a relief when its hot and a welcomed thing to all life. i like breezes in my hair too.
v6 the extra heartbeat that is awesome, two hearts as if they are in sync almost.
v7 butterflies in the stomach i have yet to experiece that but it must be a wonderful feeling.
v8 the unspeakable vibe, there are some things in love cannot be expressed by mere words.
v9 the weak in the knees feeling sounds rather pleasant to another feeling i havent yet experieced.
v10 the bringer of a smile for me. actually that line reminds me of the bringer of light ha ha but that has nothing to do with love. smile is much better.
v11 the smile at any time of day very nice.
v12 hugs i miss those being close to someone is a great experience sharing time and space giving into each other fully.
v13 ahh true love that is something many have sought yet most never find and when it is found what a great thing that would be. i thought i had mine but it withered on the vine who knows she (a true love) might be closer than i think. good tidings for you and your love. and be blessed. wonderful write, it goes on my favorites.
| Posted on 2005-08-23 00:00:00 | by inspirit999 | [ Reply to This ]
  Mike is right, it is precious... ah the first throws of love. You have expressed in a completely relateable way your soaring heart. I think it is a great write that you could make even better with some time and thought. But it's beautiful because of your age. Because it doesn't try too hard, it's just you expressing this newfound beauty. Keep writing, I think you have some real talent.
| Posted on 2005-08-24 00:00:00 | by queendepricate | [ Reply to This ]
  Short and very sweet. I really liked it.
The butterflies in the stomach worked really good in here with all the other nature elements contained in your piece, it gave it a slightly different spin and yet held onto the same meaning.
Either way, I apologize for babbling a bit there. You did a lovely job! There is a heart full of love poured into this little write-and for being shorter, it really says a lot!

Thanks for sharing!
| Posted on 2005-08-24 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]

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