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    dots Submission Name: Firebounddots

    Author: shoggoth
    ASL Info:    24/m/croatia
    Elite Ratio:    4.74 - 80/84/30
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1471
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 462

       This is a new kind of style for me, so please, share your thoughts with me.

    It is all about being guided only by passion through life and against evil.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Blazing out within
    Deadly hidden flames
    Undearneath the skin
    Bathing in the fire

    A myriad of sparks
    Leaving blinding trails
    Burning up the dark
    Stroking down the heat

    Burping clouds of smoke
    An ardent pile that many
    Dare not to provoke
    The pyre rages on

    Incinirated dust
    Leaves me one last dance
    Of sensuality and lust
    I am firebound

    Submitted on 2005-08-25 09:54:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      There is such an honest flow to your wording, I like the positioning, though I am not familiar with the style. I would really appriciate some kind of discription of it, if you would care to teach me. I am a formalist at heart, and oftentimes it is the format of a piece that speaks to me the loudest.

    Passion can be quite a driving force - it should be. Passion manifests in so many forms, and I like the way that your poem allows for all of the sides of passion to show themselves.

    A question for you - and I apologize for my tagedian-flavored existentialism - but you mentioned oposing evil (which is just asking for it, in my opinion, lol). How do you define evil? I had thought it was really more or less just a point of view.

    Beyond that, wouldn't it be a better idea to live your life working towards something instead of against something? Again, sorry for my existentialist raving, lol. It's just that your poem really inspired me to think - which is a good thing, I imagine.

    Take Care :)
    | Posted on 2006-07-11 00:00:00 | by Starless Knight | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful. I'm loving your stuff. The pyre line invoked the image of that gorgeous fellow on my bedroom cieling, Jim Morrison. I can read your work over and over. -romantic sigh- Peace. -rue
    | Posted on 2005-09-02 00:00:00 | by Rue | [ Reply to This ]
      i love the way you portreyed the passion in your words the flow is nice and so is the style. and wonderful imagery. good job
    | Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by ira | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. Amazing. I love this. The wording is unbelieveably wonderful. Perfect descriptions. The whole thing is very original. I just can't compliment this enough. My favorite part is the end:

    "Incinirated dust
    Leaves me one last dance
    Of sensuality and lust
    I am firebound"

    That one really stuck out for me. You are definitely talented. Great job

    | Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the heat of the poem along with the heat of the passion conveyed. It's strong and powerful. Very graphic - I can feel it. Great job.
    | Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by AngelintheRain | [ Reply to This ]

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