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Crushed


Author: Nynaeve
ASL Info:    23, female, Israel
Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 43 /67 /28
Words: 62
Class/Type: Poetry /Dark
Total Views: 1090
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 443



Description:


...


Crushed



Dents cover my body
Wounds that will never close
Vines circle my hands
Cutting everything off

You sharpened my rough edges
To the point where I can't face myself
You carved those words on my bones
with broken glass from the floor

Shattering every reflection
Never wanting to know
Refusing to discover what you left behind
Fleshy ruins that grow.




Submitted on 2005-08-25 14:52:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  wow i like how you worte this the wordings doen very well and the the flow is pretty good. i like all your imagery to it helped in all sink in . good job
| Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by ira | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow. This is amazing. The descriptions are unbelieveable. Perfect words to express the hurt. I love it. I really hope everything gets better for you though. Good luck with stuff. you are really talented. Excellent job

-nikkki
| Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
  At first I expected you to rhyme, but when you didn't I was pleasantly surprised. There was a nice natural rhythm thoughout this poem even without the rhyming which I think makes it very strong. "You sharpened my rough edges".. nice.
Mel
| Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by AngelintheRain | [ Reply to This ]
  I like the mutilated imagry and how it expresses your pain in a dramatic and dark way. I thought the last stanza was the most powerfull. It shows the consequences of everything before it. Really good!
| Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by robertbwell | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow, a dark and powerful story, very well done with the imagery you've used.

your word choice is impeccable, I picked out "cutting" "broken" "shattering" as subliminal references to the effect this relationship had.

Very well done, enjoyable to read, although, naturally, I hope you're over the hurt.

be Happy

Graeme
| Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


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