Description: let's see. i tried to use the metaphor of radios as lines of communication. and communication breaks down and things go wrong. but i still love her and miss her. i always will.
Sounds in Static -------------------------------------------
During transmission the signals were mixed
The message wasn’t received
What I thought was something was actually nothing
It was just the silence talking to me
And as the relay fails we miss the sounds in static
Your voice slowly starts to fade
Reception’s restricted on all our private channels
I can barely hear a word you say
During transmission the signals were mixed
The message wasn’t received
What I thought was something was actually nothing
It was just the silence talking to me
The broadcast was brief and full of confusion
As your nerve began to break away
Conductors lose touch, power is draining
You’re no longer present in the waves
So when I’m alone I turn the radio low
To save me from complexity
And the false conclusion that tomorrow morning
You’ll be lying next to me
During transmission the signals were mixed
The message wasn’t received
What I thought was something was actually nothing
It was just the silence talking to me
I'm glad you finally decided to put sometback thing back onto the site, I've missed your writting. They were always very lyrical. I'm glad to hear that your band is coming along. Can't wait to hear what you produce. I'll be standing by. Jaymi
I really like the metaphor... really fits well here. It reminded me of someone... perhaps you know him, his post is in your journal... anyways it just gives me a very vivid sense of longing. With the line "and the false conclusion that tomorrow morning you'll be lying next to me" you got me. This was so sad, yet I enjoyed it. I can't really find anything to say, sorry for the sucky comment. But I really think this is great -Steph
Dang. I really liked this. It makes so much sense, mixed signals, radios, relationships. Dang, good use of symbolism. I loved the "What I thought was something was actually nothing It was just the silence talk to me About you". When the lines of communication have static in them it's hard to interpert what the other person is feeling in a relationship. So silence sometimes slowly kills a person because of all the thinking they can do. Thinking is bad when you think that unclear communication means the other person doesn't want to be with you. Wow, this has to be faved. I just faved Perfection by JimweiZeros and now here's another one. Thanks. Great piece. :)
Wow, this is truely beautiful. You emloyed wonderful metaphores and filled them with emotion. I like the chorus the best, it Kinda drew something out of me. You know what it is, so I don't feel I need to say it. Beautiful, just beautiful.
one of the best concepts,formats and ryme ive heard in a while.they are a great motivation(women)and the feelings they evoke(good or bad),there is nothing like.this was trully excellent and no criticism i have . i will want to read this a few times a mont
this was a very different write and i do like it a lot. comparing it to radio transmissions is something i would have never thought of in a million years. you really show how you're alone cuz you think you hear her voice but shes really not there. i really feel the loneliness in this. i liked this part the best...
"The broadcast was brief and full of confusion As your nerve began to break away Conductors lose touch, power is draining You’re no longer present in the waves
So when I’m alone I turn the radio low To save me from complexity And the false conclusion that tomorrow morning You’ll be lying next to me"
it stood out to me the most. but anyways otherwise everything about this was really good. nicely done!
Submission Name: Sounds in Static
