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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sounds in Staticdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Butterfly Bullets
    ASL Info:    24/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 188/257/24
    Words: 173
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Depressed
    Total Views: 1195
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1170



    Description:
       let's see. i tried to use the metaphor of radios as lines of communication. and communication breaks down and things go wrong. but i still love her and miss her. i always will.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSounds in Staticdots
    -------------------------------------------


    During transmission the signals were mixed
    The message wasnít received
    What I thought was something was actually nothing
    It was just the silence talking to me

    And as the relay fails we miss the sounds in static
    Your voice slowly starts to fade
    Receptionís restricted on all our private channels
    I can barely hear a word you say

    During transmission the signals were mixed
    The message wasnít received
    What I thought was something was actually nothing
    It was just the silence talking to me

    The broadcast was brief and full of confusion
    As your nerve began to break away
    Conductors lose touch, power is draining
    Youíre no longer present in the waves

    So when Iím alone I turn the radio low
    To save me from complexity
    And the false conclusion that tomorrow morning
    Youíll be lying next to me

    During transmission the signals were mixed
    The message wasnít received
    What I thought was something was actually nothing
    It was just the silence talking to me

    About you




    Submitted on 2005-08-25 19:35:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I'm glad you finally decided to put sometback thing back onto the site, I've missed your writting. They were always very lyrical. I'm glad to hear that your band is coming along.
    Can't wait to hear what you produce.
    I'll be standing by.
    Jaymi
    | Posted on 2005-09-09 00:00:00 | by theDevilsPocket | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like the metaphor... really fits well here. It reminded me of someone... perhaps you know him, his post is in your journal... anyways it just gives me a very vivid sense of longing. With the line "and the false conclusion that tomorrow morning you'll be lying next to me" you got me. This was so sad, yet I enjoyed it. I can't really find anything to say, sorry for the sucky comment. But I really think this is great
    -Steph
    | Posted on 2005-08-27 00:00:00 | by playcrackthesky | [ Reply to This ]
      Dang. I really liked this. It makes so much sense, mixed signals, radios, relationships. Dang, good use of symbolism. I loved the "What I thought was something was actually nothing It was just the silence talk to me About you". When the lines of communication have static in them it's hard to interpert what the other person is feeling in a relationship. So silence sometimes slowly kills a person because of all the thinking they can do. Thinking is bad when you think that unclear communication means the other person doesn't want to be with you. Wow, this has to be faved. I just faved Perfection by JimweiZeros and now here's another one. Thanks. Great piece. :)

    -blt
    | Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, this is truely beautiful. You emloyed wonderful metaphores and filled them with emotion. I like the chorus the best, it Kinda drew something out of me. You know what it is, so I don't feel I need to say it. Beautiful, just beautiful.
    | Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by whiteshadows | [ Reply to This ]
      one of the best concepts,formats and ryme ive heard in a while.they are a great motivation(women)and the feelings they evoke(good or bad),there is nothing like.this was trully excellent and no criticism i have .
    i will want to read this a few times a mont

    so a favorite this becomes
    i rarley find
    thanks

    wes all toyysruss
    | Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by toyysruss | [ Reply to This ]
      this was a very different write and i do like it a lot. comparing it to radio transmissions is something i would have never thought of in a million years. you really show how you're alone cuz you think you hear her voice but shes really not there. i really feel the loneliness in this. i liked this part the best...

    "The broadcast was brief and full of confusion
    As your nerve began to break away
    Conductors lose touch, power is draining
    Youíre no longer present in the waves

    So when Iím alone I turn the radio low
    To save me from complexity
    And the false conclusion that tomorrow morning
    Youíll be lying next to me"

    it stood out to me the most. but anyways otherwise everything about this was really good. nicely done!

    brenna
    | Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]
      wow never heard anything like this.. its sad n maybe just a little depressing.. but i can tell you miss her

    So when Iím alone I turn the radio low
    To save me from complexity
    And the false conclusion that tomorrow morning
    Youíll be lying next to me

    my favorite stanza..god you even made me miss this girl n i have no idea who she is..
    | Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]


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