[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I need a Heart transplantdots

    Author: toyysruss
    Elite Ratio:    4.2 - 494/336/134
    Words: 273
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1039
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1199

       youll have to pardon this.
    im not at home and i put this on here from memory.i have it written down at home,and i think i mixed some of the sentences
    i know i did

    who the hell cares


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI need a Heart transplantdots

    like glass.
    It's always a mess when it breaks.
    And no matter how long it may take.
    In silence and pain I do wait
    Is that what it's called?
    If it is I don't want to feel you.
    Please help me,
    I don't know what to do.
    The sharpness of the pain just cuts through.
    And I'm bleeding all over the floor.
    I'm trying to tell you what for.

    like flowers.
    My tears are enough to water them.
    I produce to much,and I have to swim.
    I didn't take lessons
    and I'm drowning
    With all the water on my face,
    the frowning.
    Cannot be seen,where there once was glass.
    that windows boarded up at last.

    like glass.
    Transplantation is needed to live
    And i could really care less or give
    It's getting cold in here,
    I give up
    Please help me,the river I'm crying
    I'm so tired of slowly dying

    Submitted on 2005-08-25 21:00:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this is good and full of feeling. i like the way the stanzas started, setting the tone for moody and metaphoric reading. i like also how it flowed in a emotional and dark way. but i did find some of the lines to be cliché i note that you posted this from memory and not off paper. still effective writing that poeple can relate to and like. good job and take care
    | Posted on 2005-10-16 00:00:00 | by snacky fish | [ Reply to This ]
      Great poem. I like how each stnza starts with fragile. I personally love it when glass is used metaphorically, dunno why. I also like that without looking at the title your imagination can wander as to what you think is going on.
    | Posted on 2005-08-28 00:00:00 | by Lady Ankou | [ Reply to This ]
      Really enjoyed this. My image was of your heart been smashed beyond repair and you needed a new one. Superb write and keep it work it was excellent.
    | Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      This one is awesome.Pure artwork.This is one of my Fave's.it flows really good...Keep up the excellent talent.I dont have anytthing bad to say about it.
    | Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by Criss | [ Reply to This ]
      i really enjoyed this poem. The many references to glass caught my attention. I can imagine glass cutting skin, that is pain. This poem reeks with pain and imagery. I dont think this is supposed to be taken literally, it sounds like someone has broken your heart, dissopointed you, obviously caused a lot of pain. good write, i'll add to my favorites.
    | Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by concrete_rose | [ Reply to This ]
      wow this is really really good. now i could take this the literal way in the way that you are sick and need an actual transplant or i could take it metphorically in the sense that someone broke your heart and it hurts so much that instead of healing from it you would rather trade in the heart you have for one that is not broken. and in that case you can trade in the heart but the memory of the pain will always be there. either way i loved this. great job keep it up a definate new fave for me...Joy
    | Posted on 2005-08-25 00:00:00 | by sweet_rayne | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    This written by Chelebel
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Bond written by saartha
    ME written by jjd
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    A Drink written by jjd
    To written by SavedDragon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]