The absolute emotion i rendered and gushed
at the mere existence of your body
your attitude towards our lovemaking stimulated the deepest parts of me
you sang to my innermost secretive channels
and when you spoke my name, love pure in form flowed from my veins to you
the way you touched me sent chills over my body-but equally warmed
just to be close to your soul through your flesh
the heart that pounded the airways between our chests...
And you drew your beautiful lips to my chilled hands
knowing I was your lady, you were my man.
Everything astounding, and bursting with passions must somehow come to an end
two beings settled comfortably at lightning speed through this aloof life
one must ultimately hit the wall...
But when under certain circumstances when opportunity persists
a memory bleeds through of you, the way i loved you
and of your arms somehow then protecting me but whose fate was to betray this
longing regenerates itself and elements heal,
times vivid rotation can be gods heaven or hell-
I remember the words, I remember you
the way you were before
I will always love you, with this passion, to the end.
| i liked this too myself. it seemed pretty deep and full of memory. the flow and stuff was pretty good only i want to suggest where u have commas in some lines maybe you should separate the phrase after that and make it another line/ for example you have...|
"and when you spoke my name, love pure in form flowed from my veins to you"
you could do it like this...
and when you spoke my name,
love pure in form flowed from my veins to you
so that way your lines arent so long and it makes it easier to read and follow along. other than that i really liked this. nice job!
|| Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ] || :) It's well written...The last two stanzas especially ;) Well, I think one of the best I've read so far from this website ;) -Peace out||| Posted on 2005-08-26 00:00:00 | by cOoL_DudE | [ Reply to This ] |